It might've been over the past few years that I determined Halloween was one of the most useless holidays ever. I was too old to go trick or treating, and I never get invited to Halloween parties. On top of that, I hate horror movies. Not just because they, when not based off of a Stephen King novel or something, tend to have lackluster plots and copious amounts of Fridge Logic, but because I'm easily scared. So that kind of rules out going to "haunted houses" or whatever too (and in fact Halloween ensures a monthlong closing of my favorite park). Wait, what does that leave then? Well, candy. And I do like candy. But yeah, everything else.
But this year I thought about all this differently. I think it was partially due to my English friend (yknow, Cat) who mentioned that Halloween was about being slutty, not scary. Sometimes you hear things and because they apply to you, they stick, and I think that was one of them. Okay, well I'm not exactly slutty either...but I am nerdy. And thus, in a moment of fridge brilliance, I've figured out what my Halloweens are going to be like until further notice.
Me? I like the wacky, odd, campy, fantasy, fun sort of stuff, and that's what I'm focusing on. I mean, Halloween is partially about watching movies, eh? And the other part is about dressing up as something you're not.
Ah heck, I'm just going to make a list of movies I've watched this weekend, and others that I would watch if I had the time and the patience. Oh, and just because I want to include some games I'd play if they didn't take hours.
1. Batman '89
2. Batman Returns
3. Hocus Pocus (<- Actual Halloween Movie)
4. Scott Pilgrim vs The World (although that may just be because it's really really cold out)
5. The Dark Knight
6. Donnie Darko (<- Also partially Halloween Movie)
7. Pirates of the Caribbean (Okay, so I watch it all the time, but still good themes).
Games I'd play through:
1. Zelda Majora's Mask (Very creepy game)
2. Resident Evil 4
3. Luigi's Mansion
4. Gauntlet Dark Legacy
5. No More Heroes/NMH 2
Well, basically anything with a creepy level too.
But yeah, halloween THEMED, but not like overtly scary or anything.
I don't remember what the point of this was.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
I Happen to Like that Turd, Thank You
So I was on iTunes today and I happened to notice an ad for the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie. It said something about deleted scenes so I checked it out. This is when I found out that iTunes includes information from Rotten Tomatoes on the pages for a particular movie. I was unaware that Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides had a rating of 33%, with one of the reviewers calling it a turd.
I watched this movie this weekend...twice in fact...and this person suggested that I was doing the equivalent of staring at a toilet after having just deficated into it?
I will give you a disclaimer: I am a total PotC Fanboy, truly I am. I could show you a video of me dressed up like a pirate, imitating Captain Jack Sparrow to a degree in an attempt to show how excited I was for this movie. I'll be posting, very soon, a long review of the movie that I wrote after seeing it twice in theatres. The soundtracks are some of the most played music on my iPod. It's safe to say I'm going to defend this series to the end...I do the same for the Star Wars Prequels.
Yet, that's not what I'm doing here. I'm not here to rant about how this man had a different opinion from mine. I'm here to rant about how different that opinion was, while trying to avoid ranting about his opinion. I could see where someone might think differently from me...I felt something different about this movie too, and I still can't bring myself to say exactly what it is, no matter how many times I compare it to the older films. Jack was different, the plot was different, the action was different...but it didn't strike me as...awful. Something I've come to realize and may further expound on later is that this would make a good first movie...because that's how it is. It doesn't exactly feel like Pirates.
That's all besides the point though, especially since the previous Pirates movie, At World's End, got terrible reviews as well...as did Dead Man's Chest before it. It's almost like the critics refuse to go back on their word. The next movie MUST be worse than the last simply because it defies our judgment. I hath condemned this series and yet it returns like a beggar, what filth be this? Of course, it's certainly not just Pirates that gets this treatment. I've never seen any of the Transformers movies, but I do know they're possibly in a worse boat. How then, can you redeem a franchise?
On Stranger Tides pulled everything about its "failed" predecessor out. The bombast was thrown out, the old characters including the comic relief were eliminated, and more or less the status quo was set right back at zero. They cut back the time by over half an hour, and weaved a far less tangled web of subplots. If I recall correctly, those were some of the biggest complaints about the last movie. So, they get rid of them, they LISTEN to you, and yet you still find something wrong enough to call this new thing a failure?
Here's a test. You clear your mind. You watch the movie and if you find yourself entertained by something, you fail. If you're watching and something happens that you didn't think of before it happened, you fail. If this movie shows you something that you haven't seen up until this point, you fail. What I'm seeing is that good ideas are being taken for granted. The small moments are being forgotten. No one's thinking about these movies. I only am because I don't see that many movies...the ones I do see, however, I get to think a lot about, and maybe that's how I learn to appreciate them.
I think that every movie...yes, every single movie, even Trolls 2, even Twilight, even Transformers...has merit. Certainly, each one of those movies will have its fans. Certainly someone will have something good to say about it. More importantly, you can get something from pretty much every one of them even if you're not one of those people. Okay, so if my mom happens to be watching Twilight and I'm in the same room, I will no doubt be making snide remarks at every chance I get and I will continue to affirm that it is a series that does NOT deserve it's gigantic and avid fanbase. But will I admit I was entertained? Absolutely. Was I entertained just because I was thinking of ways to bash the logic and plot of the movie? Mostly, yeah. It's kind of like that one Berenstein Bears book where Papa tries to show his kids how to do things...he fails at each and every one of them, and then says "this is how NOT to do that." That's kind of how Twilight is for me.
In that, however, I notice that there's still alot of work that went into that movie. Twilight's got a very good concept (yknow the whole fairy tale things are real, vampires vs werewolves and forbidden love thing), and I would be lying to you if I couldn't pick out at least say...three things i like in each movie (For Eclipse, this'd be the soundtrack, the crystalline interiors of the vampires, and the idea that Bella, at one point saves her friend's life by encouraging him not to get himself killed...and that's not going with my shallow answer of saying Bryce Dallas Howard is a really hot ginger (though admittedly, she looks a lot like an ex girlfriend of mine)). I understand that the bad in this case, outweighs the good, but if it's between Twilight and watching a freshly taken dump lay at the bottom of a toilet...yeah, I'll have a much better time with Twilight. It just has more THOUGHT put into it that the poop. Yes, I just said that.
But back to Pirates, whose recent roasting was more astonishing than Twilight's. What Rotten Tomatoes' average rating tells me as that ALL the critics thought just about the same way: this film was cold, lifeless, boring, shitty and irrelevant. Irrelevant? What the hell does that even mean anyway? "I've never seen anything onscreen be so irrelevant." Irrelevant to what? Your life? Well, you're not a pirate. The movie itself? Well, I suppose if you're blind yeah. Maybe I've just come to realize a most ancient and true proverb: It can always get worse.
An example for you: The Star Wars Blu-Rays in which a NOOOOO has been added to a climactic scene in Return of the Jedi. This of course, is a rant in and of itself about people's ignorance (and a really really long rant at that), but suffice to say that it could have been worse. Jar Jar could have came in, put his arm around Darth Vader, his lover, and beat the ever loving hell out of Palpatine with a lollipop. Darth Vader could have said "You are the biggest asshole on the face of the galaxy and now I'm going to throw you down this shaft, bitch!" Trust me, it could be worse. One simple, cliched word does not ruin the integrity and suspense of a scene, much less three whole movies. "YEESSSSS" would have made a lot less sense.
Of course, that's not even the critics talking, but it shows kind of what I mean. This is why I've sort of started training myself to not read reviews of any kind, unless I know the reviewer has interests and/or views similar to mine. Honestly, those are the reviews I should be reading anyway. Why would you take the advice of someone who doesn't agree with you? That'd be like a gay man campaigning for Don't Ask Don't Tell (and yeah, Im sure there was at least ONE who did). If it's something I'm not fairly knowledgeable about, I'll read any review, yeah, but otherwise I like to avoid reviews at all costs. The thing that is of most value to you is going to see the damn movie. Then you have all the time in the world to think about it. Then you have your own review. It's kind of a bullshit job really, getting paid to write a review...especially as there aren't too many ways you can be more qualified than anyone else on the movie in question. If that's that case, everyone should listen to MY review of Pirates because I know a lot more about the series than Peter Travers or Ebert and Roeper or whatever, not to mention I don't have a limit on how long the review can be (mine ended up being like 5 pages).
Yet, despite that, reviews seem to be what write the history books. Sure, the new Pirates made almost a billion dollars, and I'm certain that Breaking Dawn will not be a total flop and be forgotten by humanity. It's so easy to say "well, just because it made a lot of money and the masses went to see it doesn't mean it was good." You know what else is easy to say, but a lot harder to have heard since I don't get paid anything and am not being published in a popular newspaper, magazine, or on the very page where you can purchase the reviewed thing in question? "well, just because you said it's a piece of shit doesn't mean it's actually a piece of shit."
More people put more hours into that movie than you did writing your review for it. Please consider this. The solution? Well, I actually have one this time. You publish two reviews, or have the one reviewer come up with at least a few good or potentially good things to say about the movie in question. Why can't these things appeal to everyone the way the movie itself will?
I watched this movie this weekend...twice in fact...and this person suggested that I was doing the equivalent of staring at a toilet after having just deficated into it?
I will give you a disclaimer: I am a total PotC Fanboy, truly I am. I could show you a video of me dressed up like a pirate, imitating Captain Jack Sparrow to a degree in an attempt to show how excited I was for this movie. I'll be posting, very soon, a long review of the movie that I wrote after seeing it twice in theatres. The soundtracks are some of the most played music on my iPod. It's safe to say I'm going to defend this series to the end...I do the same for the Star Wars Prequels.
Yet, that's not what I'm doing here. I'm not here to rant about how this man had a different opinion from mine. I'm here to rant about how different that opinion was, while trying to avoid ranting about his opinion. I could see where someone might think differently from me...I felt something different about this movie too, and I still can't bring myself to say exactly what it is, no matter how many times I compare it to the older films. Jack was different, the plot was different, the action was different...but it didn't strike me as...awful. Something I've come to realize and may further expound on later is that this would make a good first movie...because that's how it is. It doesn't exactly feel like Pirates.
That's all besides the point though, especially since the previous Pirates movie, At World's End, got terrible reviews as well...as did Dead Man's Chest before it. It's almost like the critics refuse to go back on their word. The next movie MUST be worse than the last simply because it defies our judgment. I hath condemned this series and yet it returns like a beggar, what filth be this? Of course, it's certainly not just Pirates that gets this treatment. I've never seen any of the Transformers movies, but I do know they're possibly in a worse boat. How then, can you redeem a franchise?
On Stranger Tides pulled everything about its "failed" predecessor out. The bombast was thrown out, the old characters including the comic relief were eliminated, and more or less the status quo was set right back at zero. They cut back the time by over half an hour, and weaved a far less tangled web of subplots. If I recall correctly, those were some of the biggest complaints about the last movie. So, they get rid of them, they LISTEN to you, and yet you still find something wrong enough to call this new thing a failure?
Here's a test. You clear your mind. You watch the movie and if you find yourself entertained by something, you fail. If you're watching and something happens that you didn't think of before it happened, you fail. If this movie shows you something that you haven't seen up until this point, you fail. What I'm seeing is that good ideas are being taken for granted. The small moments are being forgotten. No one's thinking about these movies. I only am because I don't see that many movies...the ones I do see, however, I get to think a lot about, and maybe that's how I learn to appreciate them.
I think that every movie...yes, every single movie, even Trolls 2, even Twilight, even Transformers...has merit. Certainly, each one of those movies will have its fans. Certainly someone will have something good to say about it. More importantly, you can get something from pretty much every one of them even if you're not one of those people. Okay, so if my mom happens to be watching Twilight and I'm in the same room, I will no doubt be making snide remarks at every chance I get and I will continue to affirm that it is a series that does NOT deserve it's gigantic and avid fanbase. But will I admit I was entertained? Absolutely. Was I entertained just because I was thinking of ways to bash the logic and plot of the movie? Mostly, yeah. It's kind of like that one Berenstein Bears book where Papa tries to show his kids how to do things...he fails at each and every one of them, and then says "this is how NOT to do that." That's kind of how Twilight is for me.
In that, however, I notice that there's still alot of work that went into that movie. Twilight's got a very good concept (yknow the whole fairy tale things are real, vampires vs werewolves and forbidden love thing), and I would be lying to you if I couldn't pick out at least say...three things i like in each movie (For Eclipse, this'd be the soundtrack, the crystalline interiors of the vampires, and the idea that Bella, at one point saves her friend's life by encouraging him not to get himself killed...and that's not going with my shallow answer of saying Bryce Dallas Howard is a really hot ginger (though admittedly, she looks a lot like an ex girlfriend of mine)). I understand that the bad in this case, outweighs the good, but if it's between Twilight and watching a freshly taken dump lay at the bottom of a toilet...yeah, I'll have a much better time with Twilight. It just has more THOUGHT put into it that the poop. Yes, I just said that.
But back to Pirates, whose recent roasting was more astonishing than Twilight's. What Rotten Tomatoes' average rating tells me as that ALL the critics thought just about the same way: this film was cold, lifeless, boring, shitty and irrelevant. Irrelevant? What the hell does that even mean anyway? "I've never seen anything onscreen be so irrelevant." Irrelevant to what? Your life? Well, you're not a pirate. The movie itself? Well, I suppose if you're blind yeah. Maybe I've just come to realize a most ancient and true proverb: It can always get worse.
An example for you: The Star Wars Blu-Rays in which a NOOOOO has been added to a climactic scene in Return of the Jedi. This of course, is a rant in and of itself about people's ignorance (and a really really long rant at that), but suffice to say that it could have been worse. Jar Jar could have came in, put his arm around Darth Vader, his lover, and beat the ever loving hell out of Palpatine with a lollipop. Darth Vader could have said "You are the biggest asshole on the face of the galaxy and now I'm going to throw you down this shaft, bitch!" Trust me, it could be worse. One simple, cliched word does not ruin the integrity and suspense of a scene, much less three whole movies. "YEESSSSS" would have made a lot less sense.
Of course, that's not even the critics talking, but it shows kind of what I mean. This is why I've sort of started training myself to not read reviews of any kind, unless I know the reviewer has interests and/or views similar to mine. Honestly, those are the reviews I should be reading anyway. Why would you take the advice of someone who doesn't agree with you? That'd be like a gay man campaigning for Don't Ask Don't Tell (and yeah, Im sure there was at least ONE who did). If it's something I'm not fairly knowledgeable about, I'll read any review, yeah, but otherwise I like to avoid reviews at all costs. The thing that is of most value to you is going to see the damn movie. Then you have all the time in the world to think about it. Then you have your own review. It's kind of a bullshit job really, getting paid to write a review...especially as there aren't too many ways you can be more qualified than anyone else on the movie in question. If that's that case, everyone should listen to MY review of Pirates because I know a lot more about the series than Peter Travers or Ebert and Roeper or whatever, not to mention I don't have a limit on how long the review can be (mine ended up being like 5 pages).
Yet, despite that, reviews seem to be what write the history books. Sure, the new Pirates made almost a billion dollars, and I'm certain that Breaking Dawn will not be a total flop and be forgotten by humanity. It's so easy to say "well, just because it made a lot of money and the masses went to see it doesn't mean it was good." You know what else is easy to say, but a lot harder to have heard since I don't get paid anything and am not being published in a popular newspaper, magazine, or on the very page where you can purchase the reviewed thing in question? "well, just because you said it's a piece of shit doesn't mean it's actually a piece of shit."
More people put more hours into that movie than you did writing your review for it. Please consider this. The solution? Well, I actually have one this time. You publish two reviews, or have the one reviewer come up with at least a few good or potentially good things to say about the movie in question. Why can't these things appeal to everyone the way the movie itself will?
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Error: Memory Corrupted
Black and blue were the only colors I could see, though i didn't need to see any of them. For once my eyes weren't what was important. It seemed like all my life up until that point, I'd been making my eyes and ears do all the work for me. They did all the feeling. But not tonight. Tonight my sense of touch was the king of all my feelings, with only flashes of everything else. Her hair in front of her face. The sound of breathing. It might have been the greatest moment of my life...this...over and under, finally attaining that which I hated waited so long for...
But then I cut the memory off. I'm snapped forcibly back into reality...back to staring at the open road or the front of a classroom. It's better this way. If I didn't stop myself, I'd have spent forever in that moment that happened so long ago now. It's ancient history, and sealed in a stone coffin deep underground is where this memory belongs.
Why the change? Time. It's been too long since it's happened, first and foremost. I cannot allow myself to be satisfied with the paltry experience I have gained. Life has more to offer. Second, and more shallow, is that the memory was corrupted long ago by the very same person with whom it is concerned. More than that, I hate that I feel that way. This is why it has been too long.
Memories...experiences...people, they can all grow fungus inside the mind. It's happened so many times now that there are names I dare not speak to myself lest they ricochet off every unsuitable cavern in my mind. There are those, rather...one, that I clung to for so long...hers was a dying, decaying tower, slowly rotting from areas invisible and impenetrable to my eye. Finally, I believe, they have reached me, and though I still hang on, I know the time is short. I know that she too may fade.
It's easy to burn something...wait too long on a roasted chicken and it all turns black. Sometimes...a lot of the time, it's a mistake. No one likes burnt or wasted food. That food could have been better used. It could have been delicious...but in the end it simply went too long without attention. Into the trash it goes, taking a very very familiar branch of metaphors instead of a novel one. I'd be damn close to starving were I trying to make myself a meal to survive on.
I never forget words that put you into this fate. I don't forget what you build on your end and I build on mine. I don't forget these things, and I dislike to see them die. I like to look back on things with fondness. Who knew that such a thing had an expiration date?
But then I cut the memory off. I'm snapped forcibly back into reality...back to staring at the open road or the front of a classroom. It's better this way. If I didn't stop myself, I'd have spent forever in that moment that happened so long ago now. It's ancient history, and sealed in a stone coffin deep underground is where this memory belongs.
Why the change? Time. It's been too long since it's happened, first and foremost. I cannot allow myself to be satisfied with the paltry experience I have gained. Life has more to offer. Second, and more shallow, is that the memory was corrupted long ago by the very same person with whom it is concerned. More than that, I hate that I feel that way. This is why it has been too long.
Memories...experiences...people, they can all grow fungus inside the mind. It's happened so many times now that there are names I dare not speak to myself lest they ricochet off every unsuitable cavern in my mind. There are those, rather...one, that I clung to for so long...hers was a dying, decaying tower, slowly rotting from areas invisible and impenetrable to my eye. Finally, I believe, they have reached me, and though I still hang on, I know the time is short. I know that she too may fade.
It's easy to burn something...wait too long on a roasted chicken and it all turns black. Sometimes...a lot of the time, it's a mistake. No one likes burnt or wasted food. That food could have been better used. It could have been delicious...but in the end it simply went too long without attention. Into the trash it goes, taking a very very familiar branch of metaphors instead of a novel one. I'd be damn close to starving were I trying to make myself a meal to survive on.
I never forget words that put you into this fate. I don't forget what you build on your end and I build on mine. I don't forget these things, and I dislike to see them die. I like to look back on things with fondness. Who knew that such a thing had an expiration date?
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Purgatory
Damn, where is my head anymore, eh?
I'd think my heart's got me running around in circles, but I can never tell. It's like there's a dimension between us or something. It flashes on and off. I'm kind of getting used to it. Usually you say it's one step forward and two steps back...but in my case I think it's more like the cha cha slide.
...Why is it that it seems like every girl in the world knows that dance?
What are you, anyway? Sometimes I look in the mirror and have to do a double take. Sometimes I have to flip through my memory in order to swear we've never met before. Am I really on the adventure my heart wanted to take me on? I wish there were answers.
It's too early for answeres though, especially in a story like this. I just hope it's more a novel and less a novellette. Yeah, if i might ask you a favor...can we keep this one going for a while? I'm not saying screw over the pacing with something dull and defeating. Can you keep it interesting? I love it, but I hate it so much.
It'd look good on paper...and if that's the truth of it it's not in my nature to complain.
I'd think my heart's got me running around in circles, but I can never tell. It's like there's a dimension between us or something. It flashes on and off. I'm kind of getting used to it. Usually you say it's one step forward and two steps back...but in my case I think it's more like the cha cha slide.
...Why is it that it seems like every girl in the world knows that dance?
What are you, anyway? Sometimes I look in the mirror and have to do a double take. Sometimes I have to flip through my memory in order to swear we've never met before. Am I really on the adventure my heart wanted to take me on? I wish there were answers.
It's too early for answeres though, especially in a story like this. I just hope it's more a novel and less a novellette. Yeah, if i might ask you a favor...can we keep this one going for a while? I'm not saying screw over the pacing with something dull and defeating. Can you keep it interesting? I love it, but I hate it so much.
It'd look good on paper...and if that's the truth of it it's not in my nature to complain.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
My Mostly Benign Scheme
At some point this week, I realized that something I began setting up a long time ago in my life has the potential to work...and when it does, it has the desired effect. I'm talking about making things. A long time ago I started making things. In another step, I realized that I'd begun to make things so that other people could explore them in much the same way I explore things. If I become interested in something, you see, I have to devour it. If it's a new band, I must learn the names of all the albums and singles, all the band members and when they were in the band, and any other important facts there may be about them.
I came to know that the purpose of creating all that I did was in order to build such an ensemble for myself. I wanted people to be able to spend nights getting to know everything I'd done, ravenous to get up to speed on it all...to have them talk about it or want to talk about that. I think that would be one of the greatest fulfillments of my life. I had a taste of it this week...that is, I realized I'd gotten someone lost in my works, and it was actually a really good feeling, just as I'd predicted. If only more people would take a genuine interest...I imagine that'd be genuine bliss.
Creating things is more than productive, it's expanding who you are. My death will not be the end of the story...when I die my existence will be in the form of that which I have created, so the more I create the longer I live. I don't need Dragon Balls for immortality.
I came to know that the purpose of creating all that I did was in order to build such an ensemble for myself. I wanted people to be able to spend nights getting to know everything I'd done, ravenous to get up to speed on it all...to have them talk about it or want to talk about that. I think that would be one of the greatest fulfillments of my life. I had a taste of it this week...that is, I realized I'd gotten someone lost in my works, and it was actually a really good feeling, just as I'd predicted. If only more people would take a genuine interest...I imagine that'd be genuine bliss.
Creating things is more than productive, it's expanding who you are. My death will not be the end of the story...when I die my existence will be in the form of that which I have created, so the more I create the longer I live. I don't need Dragon Balls for immortality.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Station of Contact
A Kingdom Hearts style monologue (sounds like a good game opener):
My heart...
I can feel something...someone...reaching out to my heart.
It's been a long time since I've been here. Things have changed, haven't they? I could use a broom, huh?
But why, then? Why am I here? Something's called me back, right? I don't think I've done anything different lately...it must be that contact.
I know this feeling. This is some kind of challenge, isn't it? My heart will move away from me, and I must choose whether or not I will follow its beckoning. Seems like so many worlds came crashing down the last time this happened though. Still, if my heart's started to move...maybe this time it's real. It's been a long time since something like this has hit me...a long time indeed. I'd begun to believe the light in my heart had been dimmed forever. Now I see that it is, at very least, still there.
Hehe, jeez, it's cold in here...when did that happen? Already that time again, I guess. Guess it's kind of a good thing I have that light now, huh? It's kinda nice actually. It seems like it's been so long...I've almost forgotten, I think. Maybe I should follow it, although there doesn't seem to be anything beyond here.
Nah, I've got to stay here for a little while. I gotta make sure this light doesn't go out. If it gets bigger, maybe I'll be able to see where it's trying to go at least...and maybe it'll lead me to whatever caused it to bring me here in the first place. Boy, that'd be easy. Well, if I can have faith in one thing, it'd be this: it's just not going to be that simple. Ah well, this sure isn't bad, so it's gotta be at least halfway decent.
I'd sure like to know where my hear thinks its gonna go...I'm not about to believe that there's a...y'know, person on the other end of it. That'd be something...imagine, another person's heart actually making contact with mine...that don't happen too often. Haha, yeah, we'll just see if this light goes out or not.
Either Way, sure as hell beats the darkness.
My heart...
I can feel something...someone...reaching out to my heart.
It's been a long time since I've been here. Things have changed, haven't they? I could use a broom, huh?
But why, then? Why am I here? Something's called me back, right? I don't think I've done anything different lately...it must be that contact.
I know this feeling. This is some kind of challenge, isn't it? My heart will move away from me, and I must choose whether or not I will follow its beckoning. Seems like so many worlds came crashing down the last time this happened though. Still, if my heart's started to move...maybe this time it's real. It's been a long time since something like this has hit me...a long time indeed. I'd begun to believe the light in my heart had been dimmed forever. Now I see that it is, at very least, still there.
Hehe, jeez, it's cold in here...when did that happen? Already that time again, I guess. Guess it's kind of a good thing I have that light now, huh? It's kinda nice actually. It seems like it's been so long...I've almost forgotten, I think. Maybe I should follow it, although there doesn't seem to be anything beyond here.
Nah, I've got to stay here for a little while. I gotta make sure this light doesn't go out. If it gets bigger, maybe I'll be able to see where it's trying to go at least...and maybe it'll lead me to whatever caused it to bring me here in the first place. Boy, that'd be easy. Well, if I can have faith in one thing, it'd be this: it's just not going to be that simple. Ah well, this sure isn't bad, so it's gotta be at least halfway decent.
I'd sure like to know where my hear thinks its gonna go...I'm not about to believe that there's a...y'know, person on the other end of it. That'd be something...imagine, another person's heart actually making contact with mine...that don't happen too often. Haha, yeah, we'll just see if this light goes out or not.
Either Way, sure as hell beats the darkness.
An Epic Battle
It's been building up over many many hours. A villian capable of wiping out humanity has challenged the Earth's greatest heroes to one last series of battles. Their last hope rises to the challenge and does battle with the awful creature. All too soon, however, he shocks everyone by forfeiting the match, that is giving up. Everyone think's he's gone insane...if he can't beat this evil, then no one can. He says they're wrong. He says there's someone else who possesses the power to beat their enemy. This person is his own son.
But to you, this isn't a shock, and if you're my age you could probably name the hero, his son, and the villain. This is a story that will live on in my generation forever. That's right, it's Dragonball Z, so if you had no idea what I was talking about before, you do now. I was about 10 when this particular saga of the show aired...so, about the same age as its newly selected protagonist, Gohan. With Goku's choice, so began a battle that viewers would never forget.
I will be second to tell you that Dragonball Z is not the most eloquent or deep work of fiction out there...but that doesn't stop it, and the conclusion of this saga, from being a fantastic bit of it. I will digress and say that the Buu Saga is in fact my favorite, even more so now because I believe that's where Toriyama really let loose with his world and had fun with it, but I'd still say that Gohan Vs Cell is the most memorable battle in the series, and on that point a whole lot of people would probably agree with me. I'd go as far as to say this is the most iconic final battle of our time in almost any media. Obi-Wan vs Anakin, Harry vs Voldemort...among the host of final battles out there. But all of them had to do one thing...they had to not be Gohan Vs Cell.
Gohan begins his battle against Cell. At first, they seem to be evenly matched, but soon Cell takes hold of Gohan and starts beating him. Goku's son loses his edge quickly and seems to become fodder for his opponent...that is, until Gohan mentions, after a plea to Cell to stop the "pointless" battle, a certain bad temper that he has. When Gohan becomes angry, he unleashes a power that far exceeds anything he's done before, and naturally, Cell takes an interest in unleashing this in Gohan, believing it will be the perfect challenge for him. With this, the fight continues, and Cell takes full advantage of Gohan's peace loving ways by smashing him against every hard object he can find. Gohan barely fights back, either because he wants to remain true to his word or because Cell is now truly overwhelming him. This leads to Cell almost crushing the boy's skeleton. Still, Gohan doesn't fight back, so Cell flips the page in his villian's handbook and decides to go after Gohan's father and friends.
There are many points in this battle where you could sum things up with "and the rest is history" and this is one of them. There's a little narm involved getting to the next bit, in which Gohan is urged by the severed head of a previously defeated Android to "Let it go" (honestly though, one of the lines I remember best from the whole entire series). This drives Gohan over the edge, and he unleashes his power...some at first, which seems to disappoint Cell, but then Gohan really blows the roof off the house and his hair style gets much much cooler....which in the Dragonball Z universe means he can now punch through more buildings than he could before.
And this, quite simply, is the turning point in the battle. Gohan wipes out Cell's means of hurting his friends, and when he fixes his gaze on Cell, the villian shivers. Oh, and that's just the beginning. This my friends, begins one of the best moves by an action writer ever. Gohan uses his new power to dodge and deflect everything Cell throws at him. No punch hurts, no energy blast causes damage...the tables have turned. Cell grows angry with the boy, unleashing his full power as well, which stuns the other heroes. And Gohan? He says "Is that all you've got?" ("Whoopee" in the Shonen Jump manga). Everyone, heroes included, have underestimated Gohan, as he responds to Cell's power increase by throwing two powerful blows...enough to cause Cell to convulse, puke up blood, and fall on his ass a good few times, all the while muttering something about how it can't be happening.
And Gohan? He stands there with a straight face. Cell tries attacking again...and again...and each time Gohan knocks him back, keeping his straight face and his eyes locked on his opponent. Cell uses his friends' attacks against him, causing Gohan to perform feats the others thought impossible...without changing the expression on his face. Then Cell plays his trump card: he prepares an attack that will destroy the planet. So what does Gohan do? Fires the same attack, only bigger, outing Cell his horns, an arm, and a leg...and a sizeable portion of his villainous ego. Goku urges Gohan to destroy the monster, but Gohan refuses, saying that Cell needs to suffer. Of course, Cell has regeneration powers, and regrows his severed limbs in a few moments...and he gives all of his limbs a level in muscle, crashing down next to Gohan and threatening to end him.
And Gohan? I think he smirks here...but he continues to avoid the monster's attacks, finally delivering a devastating blow to the enemy...one that causes Cell to loses a tremendous amount of his power...reverting him to a weaker form entirely. At this point, Cell goes a little bit crazy, attacking Gohan despite his decreased power. He soon comes to realize that he's not the real monster here and suddenly wants only one thing: to get the hell away from this kid. Gohan won't have it, however, and Cell is finally forced into the corner.
And the rest is history. Well, of course, not really, as Cell inflates his body in a self destruct sequence that once again threatens the planet's safety. The catch? If Gohan so much as punches him, he'll explode. So Goku steps in and transports Cell to another planet where he explodes...leacing Gohan and the others on a quiet battlefield.
And the rest is history.....except that Cell does not show up in the land of the dead along with Goku and King Kai. Cell's alive, and returns to Earth stronger than ever, making a grand re-entrance by killing a hero and crippling one of Gohan's arms. This doesn't look good. This time, the heroes are all out of tricks and trump cards. Gohan will meet his father very soon....but then, Goku talks to his son, telling him to never give up.
And the rest is history. This is the second (arguably first) most true timing for this statement. Everyone knows what happens next. Gohan and Cell both fire a Kamehameha wave at each other in an explosion of blue light, and a massive tug of war begins with Goku's spirit guiding Gohan in this final clash. The other heroes try to distract Cell, which doesn't work until one hero in particular swallows his pride and throws an attack at Cell, giving Gohan just the moment he needs to blast him into blue oblivion.
That's really the end. If it sounds familiar, that's probably because it is. This style of final battle is used just about everywhere. The villain is winning, the hero gains a new power, and then they clash one final time. I can't tell you if Dragonball Z did it first, but they definitely did it the best, and in a way that has not been replicated to date. Sure it takes a long time, but the payoff is oh so sweet...sweeter, I might say, than a whole lot of other final battles. The narm, the yelling, the constant one-upping of power levels and energy blasts is all part of the grandeur of this spectacle.
What really gets me now, almost ten years later, is the transformation that Gohan undergoes when he makes the power jump that allows him to tear Cell a new asshole. When I was ten, it was another power up...really awesome, but yknow, it was still Gohan. When I'm nineteen, I see that Gohan's appearance and apparent power level wasn't the real thing that changed. Super Saiyan 2 Gohan is a different person. I was reading TV Tropes not too long ago, and they talked about how SS2 Gohan is high octane nightmare fuel: a scary, sadistic, cold fighter that tortures his victim like an insect that's just been sprayed with bug spray. I didn't really believe that...Gohan never came across as scary.
Then recently Youtube gave me a Gohan vs Cell video on my recommendations (I watched a lot of snippets of DBZ over the summer) and that's where this all came together for me, and I realized why this battle was so brilliant. Super Saiyan 2 Gohan is a bit sadistic...but he's not Hollywood sadistic...he's so much worse. Look at Bellatrix Lestrange...she's a sadist and she loves her job very very much, laughing and giggling loudly as she inflicts her pain. Gohan? No, his expression is straight faced the whole damn time. His eyes stay fixed on Cell wherever they are...and they're not looking at him nicely. This image would've haunted Cell's nightmares...had he lived to have any. Gohan gave no indication of what he was doing. He didn't confess to be playing with his victim, nor did he ever even really react to Cell's boasts and threats...only when asked to. For Gohan, until the end, was a gentle gentleman...who just happened to be able to kick copious amounts of ass when someone threatened the innocent.
That might be the craziest bit of it: Gohan's character remains largely intact. He's a different person, but he's the same guy. This isn't Majin Gohan or Dark Gohan or Fight Yourself Final Boss Evil Gohan. He's a good guy. I don't think I've ever seen a character be so good and so bad at the same time. Toriyama (the original author of the DBZ manga (where honestly the transformation is not as well done, if you ask me)) managed to avoid a cliche that would become very very common in the works of his peers and writers as a whole. There's no convoluted magic on this end, folks (on the actually power level end...well, this is DBZ). Gohan does not destroy Cell...he tears him down and rips him apart. He lets Cell use everything he's got, thinking nothing of it, showing that nothing that Cell does can change a damn thing anymore. That's how you beat a villain.
Now the other stages of the battle are pretty par for course...they're an early example of one epic final battle. The early stages build up tension very nicely, and the part where Cell tortures Gohan's friends are a now classic lesson in humanity. All "good" characters seem to fight more effectively when their loved ones are at stake. Gohan is no exception, and is an extreme example as his pacifism leads him to sit there and watch it all as it happens (which admittedly, challenges logic). Sure, nowadays this sort of thing seems antiquated and basic...but Gohan is an excellent hero to Cell's archetypal villain. As far as Cell goes, there's not much except for his origin and power level to separate him from Frieza...so he's not all that interesting except for his laundry list of abilities and real threat level.
Gohan Vs Cell is like an entire movie in one battle, especially when you watch the episodes as a whole and not as a "no filler" youtube series. Though it can drag out, it's all worth it. The drama's high and that makes for one hell of a battle. Gohan's development and overall badassery light this one on fire, and it's chock full of moments that live on in the fans who have seen it. The moment where Goku chooses Gohan as the next fighter, the moment where Gohan explains his powers to Cell, the moment where Android 16 tells him to let it all go, the moment where the newly transformed Gohan destroys the Cell Jrs, when Gohan deflects Cell's earthbound Kamehameha, frying him in the process, when Cell transforms again, when Gohan punches Cell so hard he barfs up Android 18, the moment where Cell blows himself up...and then that final clash of Kamehamehas...maybe you can forget what happens when Yamcha finds Android 20 in Gingertown, but you won't be forgetting this battle.
If it's been a long time since you've watched Dragonball Z, go ahead and find the episodes with this battle on Youtube (Im thinking it's Episodes 184-191). It's a good time to go back and revisit it, like thousands of others already have. It's a lot different now than it was, but in its own way, it's still brilliant, and I appreciate very much as I realize just how much influence the battles and action I envision has been from this one fight. Look at everything that came after it too (remember that the original version of this aired in Japan in the early 90s) and you'll see that maybe it was more than just us kids who were watching...what a very well played, satisfying battle. Part of me agrees with people that say this would have been a better end to the entire series.
But to you, this isn't a shock, and if you're my age you could probably name the hero, his son, and the villain. This is a story that will live on in my generation forever. That's right, it's Dragonball Z, so if you had no idea what I was talking about before, you do now. I was about 10 when this particular saga of the show aired...so, about the same age as its newly selected protagonist, Gohan. With Goku's choice, so began a battle that viewers would never forget.
I will be second to tell you that Dragonball Z is not the most eloquent or deep work of fiction out there...but that doesn't stop it, and the conclusion of this saga, from being a fantastic bit of it. I will digress and say that the Buu Saga is in fact my favorite, even more so now because I believe that's where Toriyama really let loose with his world and had fun with it, but I'd still say that Gohan Vs Cell is the most memorable battle in the series, and on that point a whole lot of people would probably agree with me. I'd go as far as to say this is the most iconic final battle of our time in almost any media. Obi-Wan vs Anakin, Harry vs Voldemort...among the host of final battles out there. But all of them had to do one thing...they had to not be Gohan Vs Cell.
Gohan begins his battle against Cell. At first, they seem to be evenly matched, but soon Cell takes hold of Gohan and starts beating him. Goku's son loses his edge quickly and seems to become fodder for his opponent...that is, until Gohan mentions, after a plea to Cell to stop the "pointless" battle, a certain bad temper that he has. When Gohan becomes angry, he unleashes a power that far exceeds anything he's done before, and naturally, Cell takes an interest in unleashing this in Gohan, believing it will be the perfect challenge for him. With this, the fight continues, and Cell takes full advantage of Gohan's peace loving ways by smashing him against every hard object he can find. Gohan barely fights back, either because he wants to remain true to his word or because Cell is now truly overwhelming him. This leads to Cell almost crushing the boy's skeleton. Still, Gohan doesn't fight back, so Cell flips the page in his villian's handbook and decides to go after Gohan's father and friends.
There are many points in this battle where you could sum things up with "and the rest is history" and this is one of them. There's a little narm involved getting to the next bit, in which Gohan is urged by the severed head of a previously defeated Android to "Let it go" (honestly though, one of the lines I remember best from the whole entire series). This drives Gohan over the edge, and he unleashes his power...some at first, which seems to disappoint Cell, but then Gohan really blows the roof off the house and his hair style gets much much cooler....which in the Dragonball Z universe means he can now punch through more buildings than he could before.
And this, quite simply, is the turning point in the battle. Gohan wipes out Cell's means of hurting his friends, and when he fixes his gaze on Cell, the villian shivers. Oh, and that's just the beginning. This my friends, begins one of the best moves by an action writer ever. Gohan uses his new power to dodge and deflect everything Cell throws at him. No punch hurts, no energy blast causes damage...the tables have turned. Cell grows angry with the boy, unleashing his full power as well, which stuns the other heroes. And Gohan? He says "Is that all you've got?" ("Whoopee" in the Shonen Jump manga). Everyone, heroes included, have underestimated Gohan, as he responds to Cell's power increase by throwing two powerful blows...enough to cause Cell to convulse, puke up blood, and fall on his ass a good few times, all the while muttering something about how it can't be happening.
And Gohan? He stands there with a straight face. Cell tries attacking again...and again...and each time Gohan knocks him back, keeping his straight face and his eyes locked on his opponent. Cell uses his friends' attacks against him, causing Gohan to perform feats the others thought impossible...without changing the expression on his face. Then Cell plays his trump card: he prepares an attack that will destroy the planet. So what does Gohan do? Fires the same attack, only bigger, outing Cell his horns, an arm, and a leg...and a sizeable portion of his villainous ego. Goku urges Gohan to destroy the monster, but Gohan refuses, saying that Cell needs to suffer. Of course, Cell has regeneration powers, and regrows his severed limbs in a few moments...and he gives all of his limbs a level in muscle, crashing down next to Gohan and threatening to end him.
And Gohan? I think he smirks here...but he continues to avoid the monster's attacks, finally delivering a devastating blow to the enemy...one that causes Cell to loses a tremendous amount of his power...reverting him to a weaker form entirely. At this point, Cell goes a little bit crazy, attacking Gohan despite his decreased power. He soon comes to realize that he's not the real monster here and suddenly wants only one thing: to get the hell away from this kid. Gohan won't have it, however, and Cell is finally forced into the corner.
And the rest is history. Well, of course, not really, as Cell inflates his body in a self destruct sequence that once again threatens the planet's safety. The catch? If Gohan so much as punches him, he'll explode. So Goku steps in and transports Cell to another planet where he explodes...leacing Gohan and the others on a quiet battlefield.
And the rest is history.....except that Cell does not show up in the land of the dead along with Goku and King Kai. Cell's alive, and returns to Earth stronger than ever, making a grand re-entrance by killing a hero and crippling one of Gohan's arms. This doesn't look good. This time, the heroes are all out of tricks and trump cards. Gohan will meet his father very soon....but then, Goku talks to his son, telling him to never give up.
And the rest is history. This is the second (arguably first) most true timing for this statement. Everyone knows what happens next. Gohan and Cell both fire a Kamehameha wave at each other in an explosion of blue light, and a massive tug of war begins with Goku's spirit guiding Gohan in this final clash. The other heroes try to distract Cell, which doesn't work until one hero in particular swallows his pride and throws an attack at Cell, giving Gohan just the moment he needs to blast him into blue oblivion.
That's really the end. If it sounds familiar, that's probably because it is. This style of final battle is used just about everywhere. The villain is winning, the hero gains a new power, and then they clash one final time. I can't tell you if Dragonball Z did it first, but they definitely did it the best, and in a way that has not been replicated to date. Sure it takes a long time, but the payoff is oh so sweet...sweeter, I might say, than a whole lot of other final battles. The narm, the yelling, the constant one-upping of power levels and energy blasts is all part of the grandeur of this spectacle.
What really gets me now, almost ten years later, is the transformation that Gohan undergoes when he makes the power jump that allows him to tear Cell a new asshole. When I was ten, it was another power up...really awesome, but yknow, it was still Gohan. When I'm nineteen, I see that Gohan's appearance and apparent power level wasn't the real thing that changed. Super Saiyan 2 Gohan is a different person. I was reading TV Tropes not too long ago, and they talked about how SS2 Gohan is high octane nightmare fuel: a scary, sadistic, cold fighter that tortures his victim like an insect that's just been sprayed with bug spray. I didn't really believe that...Gohan never came across as scary.
Then recently Youtube gave me a Gohan vs Cell video on my recommendations (I watched a lot of snippets of DBZ over the summer) and that's where this all came together for me, and I realized why this battle was so brilliant. Super Saiyan 2 Gohan is a bit sadistic...but he's not Hollywood sadistic...he's so much worse. Look at Bellatrix Lestrange...she's a sadist and she loves her job very very much, laughing and giggling loudly as she inflicts her pain. Gohan? No, his expression is straight faced the whole damn time. His eyes stay fixed on Cell wherever they are...and they're not looking at him nicely. This image would've haunted Cell's nightmares...had he lived to have any. Gohan gave no indication of what he was doing. He didn't confess to be playing with his victim, nor did he ever even really react to Cell's boasts and threats...only when asked to. For Gohan, until the end, was a gentle gentleman...who just happened to be able to kick copious amounts of ass when someone threatened the innocent.
That might be the craziest bit of it: Gohan's character remains largely intact. He's a different person, but he's the same guy. This isn't Majin Gohan or Dark Gohan or Fight Yourself Final Boss Evil Gohan. He's a good guy. I don't think I've ever seen a character be so good and so bad at the same time. Toriyama (the original author of the DBZ manga (where honestly the transformation is not as well done, if you ask me)) managed to avoid a cliche that would become very very common in the works of his peers and writers as a whole. There's no convoluted magic on this end, folks (on the actually power level end...well, this is DBZ). Gohan does not destroy Cell...he tears him down and rips him apart. He lets Cell use everything he's got, thinking nothing of it, showing that nothing that Cell does can change a damn thing anymore. That's how you beat a villain.
Now the other stages of the battle are pretty par for course...they're an early example of one epic final battle. The early stages build up tension very nicely, and the part where Cell tortures Gohan's friends are a now classic lesson in humanity. All "good" characters seem to fight more effectively when their loved ones are at stake. Gohan is no exception, and is an extreme example as his pacifism leads him to sit there and watch it all as it happens (which admittedly, challenges logic). Sure, nowadays this sort of thing seems antiquated and basic...but Gohan is an excellent hero to Cell's archetypal villain. As far as Cell goes, there's not much except for his origin and power level to separate him from Frieza...so he's not all that interesting except for his laundry list of abilities and real threat level.
Gohan Vs Cell is like an entire movie in one battle, especially when you watch the episodes as a whole and not as a "no filler" youtube series. Though it can drag out, it's all worth it. The drama's high and that makes for one hell of a battle. Gohan's development and overall badassery light this one on fire, and it's chock full of moments that live on in the fans who have seen it. The moment where Goku chooses Gohan as the next fighter, the moment where Gohan explains his powers to Cell, the moment where Android 16 tells him to let it all go, the moment where the newly transformed Gohan destroys the Cell Jrs, when Gohan deflects Cell's earthbound Kamehameha, frying him in the process, when Cell transforms again, when Gohan punches Cell so hard he barfs up Android 18, the moment where Cell blows himself up...and then that final clash of Kamehamehas...maybe you can forget what happens when Yamcha finds Android 20 in Gingertown, but you won't be forgetting this battle.
If it's been a long time since you've watched Dragonball Z, go ahead and find the episodes with this battle on Youtube (Im thinking it's Episodes 184-191). It's a good time to go back and revisit it, like thousands of others already have. It's a lot different now than it was, but in its own way, it's still brilliant, and I appreciate very much as I realize just how much influence the battles and action I envision has been from this one fight. Look at everything that came after it too (remember that the original version of this aired in Japan in the early 90s) and you'll see that maybe it was more than just us kids who were watching...what a very well played, satisfying battle. Part of me agrees with people that say this would have been a better end to the entire series.
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