I really really hate being aimless or having my ideas move so fast that I can't really keep up with them. My head's been in so many places this past weekend it's crazy. For most of the weekend I've been into Kingdom Hearts, but today on top of that I had inspiration to work on MageBoy, my main story and...just a lot of other things. Sometimes I really need to kill my internet. It makes my ideas and my head move around so fast that I just can't focus. One minute it's a video of Scott Pilgrim music, and the next it's an hour reading the comments of exasperated fanboys in pain over Ewoks blinking. And in between it all, I'm trying to do a bit of homework...granted I don't really have a good idea of what it is I'm supposed to be doing.
Basically my hope is that this is just the effects of starting school again. It's like dumping colored water into clear water. It takes time for the color of the water to settle into whatever color it's going to stay. It's just like a splash: everything goes everywhere and it all hits each other mid air before coming down and getting lost again. I'm hoping that my cannonball wasn't so epic. I don't think it was, but when you're the person making a splash, you don't get to admire it.
Parts of this confusion I don't mind: I've done some writing and drawing and even bass playing... The problem is that none of it ends up consequential. It's like my ideas just kind of stop before actually getting anywhere. That's what's annoying to me, especially when the next time I go to work on something it's totally not what I was working on before. Again though, i just have to figure out how to calm myself and be patient...tomorrow I have a class for the first time, so that's probably why I'm jittery. It's funny though, because it already feels like I've been in my other classes for weeks now...
Anyway, I'd hate to rant about school, especially since I don't have evidence to support a Theory of Suck. All in all it's been going pretty well, actually, so I can't really complain. I just hope it'll keep going so smoothly. If it does, I might finally have the chance to organize changes in myself that I've been wanting to make for a long time...
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