My Mondays this semester were really interesting. It was a much different day than the rest of the week. School was at night, and there was school the next morning too. I rarely had any work due for my Monday class due on Monday, so it was really a day to do homework, and I used it as such. Then, even though I didn't always want to, I went to my Monday night class: LGBT studies. All in all, it was a really pleasant class. The work was sparing and never really that difficult, and the topic was relevant to the time I'm living in. Plus, the teacher was the kind you always wanted to have for a teacher.
Then I came home, and a few times, there was homework to do. I've been really excellent at not procrastinating hard enough to where I had something like an entire paper to do on a Monday night, and that was part of the beauty of having Monday morning to do work. Still, the papers and stuff were always pretty stressful. Tonight was kind of the grandaddy of all paperfests, and here I am, something like 30 pages later.
It's weird though. Despite my triumph of it being 9:54 and all my work being done, the stress remains. It'll be there until I leave the class that all the work was for at 12:45 tomorrow. It's like I feel really bad about every paper or non-test assignment that I do. From the time the file is sent to my big computer for printing, to end of that class, I want the whole assignment(s) to stop existing all together. I want to disown them until i know they're worthy. It's a silly feeling, but it's also pretty terrible, and I notice it every time. I haven't really actually been proud of a paper since my Writing Fiction class last year, and that was a whole different story.
Ah well, this is pretty much the last time for it until next semester. At least this time when I leave that classroom, it'll be a bigger relief than usual. That's always kind of nice. Looking back, it's actually been a pretty good semester. There wasn't one class that was just a dread to go to or that I felt like I couldn't do well in, and the tests...damn, I still wonder why I couldn't do so well before. Kamina is so right: It's all about the fighting spirit. If you believe you can do it, then you probably can. Once you learn to stop second guessing yourself, you can't lose. Here's to hoping that attitude continues to take me far.
Another neat thing about this semester is that it's apart of something bigger. Two classes are continuing into next semester, and that finally means some consistency between time periods. One of the worst things about college is that the people you're with changes every damn semester. You try to make friends, and then next semester you won't ever see them. I guess that's why it'd be nice to be in a really small major. For everyone else though, especially commuters, it's single serving friends. I always thought I should've lived on campus. Hey if you're in high school and definitely want to go to college, go somewhere you can live, or if you're going somewhere local, go somewhere you have a lot of friends.
Anyway, here's to that awesome Monday night class I had this semester, and here's to the fact that this is the last little Monday night I have to spend disowning something I've worked decently hard on. Honestly though, I like to think I work smarter rather than harder. And here's to hoping it all turns out well like it has plenty of times this semester.
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