My Real Christmas List

So it's Christmas time.  Woot.  I like Christmas, it's a neat time except that no one in my family besides me ever knows more than one thing they want.  I like giving, I really do, and I like trying to remember something someone said they wanted a while back and forgot about it...that doesn't always happen, but when it does, it's awesome.

This year, I've noticed I have a pretty extensive Christmas list.  That kind of makes me feel like a fatass.  Sad thing is, there's still more I could add to it.  Being me though, I figured that I might as well go all out and post it on the internet.  Some items are real tongue in cheek.  Others aren't.

Dear Santa, please bring me:

1. 9001 Youtube Subscribers - And  not just youtube subscribers, dedicated youtube subscribers who will actually watch my videos and encourage me to stop being lazy and post them on a regular basis.  Might be a little overwhelming, but I've never had 9000 people looking at me at once before.

Yes, and I will make a video of me reinacting that scene.

2. 9001 Blog Subscribers - Same deal.  Okay, I admit, if you don't have 9001...or if I havent been quite that good this year, I'll be good with a little less.  More than 9 would be nice though.

3. Ongaku wa Nihongo- No idea if I translated that right.  Japanese music.  This isn't just for me though.  The whole world needs this music readily available for less than $35 a pop.  When I can buy the entire soundtrack for the same price as the entire frickin series, there's something going on that isn't right.  Please bring me:
      A. Maximum the Hormone - Buikikaesu
      B. Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann Soundtrack
      C. Cowboy Bebop Soundtrack
      D. Kingdom Hearts Soundtrack
      E. Pokemon Soundtrack (yeah, pretty much all of them)

4. World Peace - Sounds trivial, cliche even, and it is, but really we have more important things to worry about.  Like why we haven't invented X Wings yet.  Oh hey, that reminds me...

5. An X Wing - Driving sucks.  Traffic sucks.  If I had an X Wing to get to school, I wouldn't even have to blast anyone with its lasers...unless of course you give my ex-guitarist a Tie Fighter.

Where would I park it?

6. A College Degree - Hey, if it's not worth anything, I don't want to take a chance buying it myself.  This is the same philosophy I use for a lot of the more outlandish stuff on my Christmas list.  I wouldn't want to spend thousands and thousands of dollars, not to mention hours upon hours of my time, working toward something that's not worth anything, now would I? hmm...

7. A Brand New Body - yep, this one's kind of old and less sexy than I'd like.  I'd preferably like to be a redheaded chick, but I know they're hard to find so I'll settle for blonde.  Okay, at least give me a body with less hair or something.

8. My Finished Novel from the Future - Yknow, i'm going to finish it eventually, so I might as well go ahead and get it and use it.  All the money from four years from now will be going to the same name anyway.

9. A Girl Who Actually Speaks my Language - There really aren't too many people I can hold a conversation with they way I'd like.  I've met people similar to me yeah...but they're not watching Gurren Lagann at the same time that I am, and that's a bit of a bummer.  Also, make her live within four hours of me...the whole "yelling across the Atlantic" and "sending mindwaves to Canada" thing is getting old.

10.  A Black and White Striped Shirt - This may seem simple, but you have no frigging idea how hard it is to find one of these for a male.  Screw it, if it fits, I'll take it in female, Santa.

11. A Beam Katana - Because a lightsaber is what you EXPECTED me to say.

Yes, even if I have to do this to get it to work.

12. Sperm with a Gene for Green Hair - My children must be special.  And have awesome hair.  Green hair.  Because any other color is pretty much just boring (well, you could make Number 9 have the gene for blue hair or purple hair...)

13. Instant Transmission - Instead of asking for a trip to Canda, Japan, and/or England, I'll save you some money and just ask for you to bless me with the ability to use Instant Transmission.  Just like Goku.

14. A Hammerspace Room - You know...in the vein of the Room of Requirement, Kirby's stomach, Ramona's purse....my room needs to be bigger than it looks.  Sometimes I want a bunch of cool stuff, but stop and think "Damn, I'd have no where to put that because I've got so much more awesome stuff!"

15. All of Dragonball Z- Anime is expensive, and nine 30 dollar DVD sets are going to add up real fast.  Getting only one season wouldn't work, since as soon as I started watching I'd realize there's an episode from another season I really really like.

I'd be really obliged if you brought all of these things in your sleigh on Christmas Eve.  I've been a good little boy this- Okay I can't admit to that with a straight face, but still. 

Merry Christmas, y'all.