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Monday, March 5, 2012

The Little Creeper

I love being friends with hot girls on Facebook.  Not because they're hot, but because when they're single and lonely, they'll post these funny little statuses about how much they'd like to meet someone, or how much they wish someone would speak out about being in love with them.  Do I love that because it's something I can take advantage of and use to score a date?  Hell no, I'm way too shy for that shit.  It's because I'm completely cognizant of the reasons why I feel to shy for that shit.

There's this old cliche, "be careful what you wish for," that probably not a lot of people think about when they post a status like that.  A lot of them are indeed careful to specify they want a "wonderful" person rather than, y'know, a "creep."  We'll come back to that word.  What's funny is that that little cliche has everything to do with a post about looking for love.  It's not necessarily that some womanizer, chronic ex-girlfriend beater, or rapist is going to come out of the woodwork in response.  Those aren't the funny and interesting ones.  The ones they want to watch out for are exactly what they want.

If you know me a little bit, you probably know who I'm talking about since I fall into the category myself, roughly.  I'm talking about the not-so-attractive, nerdy dudes who've happened to fall in love with someone way out of their league.  These guys might be all the wonderful adjectives the girls in question describe: honest, kind, witty, trustworthy, but they don't speak up.  Well, some of them do just because it's their first time, but a lot of them won't speak up.  Why?  Rejection.  I already sort of explained it.  "She's out of their league."  That's interesting since she just said she wanted this kind, honest guy and well, here he is. 

Now, I'm not saying this happens in every case and that everyone considered attractive by the general population is a shallow jerkass.  I know that's not true, but there are probably a good number of guys (or girls, since this can definitely go the other way around), suprising number even, that won't speak up just because of this "league" concept that's been in place since God knows when.  It's kind of a norm now that we don't expect hot girls to date these little nerdy types, and when you start to think about the scenario I've cooked up, it makes less and less sense.  There he is, answering her prayer legitimately and bam! nope, denied. 

That's what's kind of funny about the whole thing, is that for every plea she posts, there's some unattactive guy unable to answer her that she doesn't know about.  I get to smile and say "be careful what you wish for," because in putting some brave little man in his proper league, she might just be passing up on a guy that's perfect for her had she been a little less judgmental or something.  It'd be interesting as hell to someday see a girl/guy that does that come back and post a status like "Well guess I should've thought that one out more," or "I'm sorry [boy/girl who's currently sulking in their own league]," because as it is now there's not all that much reflection on the path not taken when there was a fork in the road.  In fact, the way some people act I wonder if they even saw that it was a fork in their road.  It's like the answer's so obvious there's not even a what if scenario...just "well, you're out of my league so nope."

I'm not just talking out of my ass here, I'll admit I've had this happen to me before.  This was back in the days of Myspace, and this girl I liked posted a survey in a bulletin (dear God I'm speaking in ancient terms here) in which she answered the question "If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?" with "Yes."  So I decided to grow a pair of balls and message this chick.  So I did, and being me, it was this long winded thing about...I don't even know, but in true me style it was probably a lot longer than it should have been.  She replied that she had a guy and wasn't looking (I think).  But she later posted a status that read "Gosh, people have been such creepsters lately."  Me being paranoid due to rejection in the past, I thought it was about it me.  Gossip through the grapevine eventually told me that I was...well, amongst other things.  So I've been there, and y'know it's funny, because I don't see it as a missed opportunity anymore, and I don't really feel sorry for her.

I support all the little creepers out there in the wrong league, and I grin and shake my head at all those that set up situations like mine.  Yeah, go ahead, ask them to come and find you, just don't wonder- wait no, DO wonder why all of these little creeps start telling you they love you.

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