Can I seriously believe this, that here it is tomorrow already and I've got the same person in my head as I did when I woke up? I don't believe it. Sure don't. Yet at the same time, I totally asked for it. Wasn't it God who said "ask and ye shall recieve?" It probably wasn't.
If I were a devoutly religious person, I'd be pretty angry at God, since he's clearly trolling the living shit out of me. He's been doing it since apparently before I was even born. It's kinda funny. All the things he does are gonna render me completely helpless.
What a big fat hypocrite I am. The one thing I thought I couldn't believe in is now something I believe from dawn till dusk and back again. That sun might be the only thing we have in common. Space travel is so hard that not even uncommon men can do it. Where the fuck is our moon base anyway? Probably the same place as my heart.
I always talk about that, y'know, with the whole Station of Contact bit, with my heart moving around and stuff. It's totally left now, and in my head I know where it went. I couldn't spot it now even if I had perfect vision. I just wonder what would happen to me if it stayed where it was without me coming to look for it. Of course, that implies me going to look for it.
I've been getting all these stupid words and ideas in my head, not the least egregious of which is "aunt." What kind of bullshit is that anyway? "Aunt." "Wife." "Nia." "Chosen One." What's all that about? I thought I convinced myself that shit was all mythery. And...yeah, I'm glad my imagination isn't powerful enough to run these things and more in a slideshow. That'd take some hella Photoshopping skills.
It's funny that ultimately I love having a little, lonely hole to crawl back into like this. I have a place where I can express myself now, but this isn't for there. I've already made myself a flashing red lightbulb there. I'm wearing bright red right now and it looks horrible on me since red is the color of lust and no one out there lusts for me. Today I learned I haven't been attractive since at least 2008. Nah, that's not true and I know it. I been told so. Two words in conjunction...don't make me blush, damn.
I wanna reason through every little thing in my head right here and now, but I know those who watch are those whose eyes I'd like to catch least. I have no idea if that's cryptic enough, but I really do need to open a nice word file and just go at it. I need to get back into those. I miss the Midnight Poems about all the debaucheries in the world and heavens created by the excess love I spilled all over the world when a metaphorical artery was severed cold turkey. I don't miss the assassin at all, and honestly I wish they hadn't followed me and made themself available for popping up in subtle ways that make me want to punch a wall.
I miss Echo and the grand idea she's part of. I miss all the worlds she likes to influence. I miss Paroon too, even though I realized just how much of an Alice in Wonderland ripoff it is. I had no idea I missed Mia Wasikowska that much either. I miss MageBoy and Auren like a motherfucker, I really do. I don't miss too many of the people that I might have thought about on a night like this long ago. I lament they fact that they haven't been replaced.
What do we do about the things I can't miss just because I haven't seen them yet? What do we call that? It's the same feeling, isn't it? Maybe it's reversed. I do wish I could tell you just how fucking stupid I'm being right now, because lemme tell ya, it's pretty fucking stupid. It's like something high schoolers are supposed to do. The difference between me and them is that I know better than to say it. The last time I said something about how stupid I was being at the time, I got blasted for it.
I wish I could think of something to make all this interesting too. I want to make an interesting story that people will click on when they see my name next to it just because they can't wait to see what it's about or what happens. I need to step it all up and make it all like this, because this shit is interesting. you can think about this vagueness for days. Why the hell am I being vague anyway, if I'm just gonna end up showing this anyway due to the fact that I think I'm being vague enough? It's not like we're even talking about the same thing that we were when this started. Alas, a mind is more complex.
Let me just say that I love this kind of blog. They come around every so often. I just start typing and speak a whole bunch of my mind, whether it's all related or not. It all seems to be. This is me. I'm not trying to be professional or funny or popular or any of that stuff. This is where I turn on the Pixies and just be me all over the text box. That's why these entries end up so quotable and stuff, because this is the rawest anything I write can get. Think of a steak that's bloody as hell, then imagine it cooked even less. That's kinda like this. It somehow might be disgusting, but goddammit, it's at least pretty damn interesting.
In the end the whole thing is related because it's all me and I'm talking about it the same way all the way through. That sounds pretty lame though, the whole "this IS me" bit. I mean, THAT's me if anything. This is me is me. You get it? If you do, it means you're keeping up and actually know who the fuck I am. But we're not getting into that again.
Anyway, my mind has moved on from where we started, and that might have been the whole point of all of this. I've spoken my bit here. Tomorrow I get to look forward to homework and more or less none of the things I missed, wished for, or otherwise refused to divulge. Trust me, if I got that last one tomrrow I'd...well it's not worth trying to come up with some fake reaction for something that's definitely not going to happen. But Eric, didn't you agree with Alice when she said she believed in six impossible things before breakfast? I did, all the way, and I admit that what that thing is is indeed possible. The problem is that the chances of it happening out of all the other possibilities in the universe is more than likely very low. I'm sure I could figure it out if I wanted...but I really loathe math.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Na Na Why I Don't Have a Job
Let me open this by saying I do like The Offspring's album Americana, but there's one song that makes me feel so uneasy that I cringe when the band even gets mentioned. "Why Don't You Get a Job" was one of the lesser known singles off of the album, and I guess it being so does me a lot of good.
Why does this song upset me so? Because when Dexter sings it, it sounds like he's talking to me. It's true, I'm twenty and haven't had a job ever. My Mom really wants me to get one, yeah, and why shouldn't I? My sister had a job when she was twenty, her second, in fact. Quite a lot of people my age have jobs too. It's an act of growing up and accepting responsibility, except with cash. Being a gamer and a musicy guy, there's almost always something I'd be interested in buying.
Of course, when have I been a "normal kid" with, y'know "common sense?" Okay, I can't really use that as an excuse. There are a lot of little things I'd like to say, but they'd all just be excuses with very little actual value, or they wouldn't capture my full rationale. My reasoning is still fairly simple however. Bad advertising. Really, employment has some of the worst advertising anything can get, which is really ironic since getting a job isn't as simple as just buying something. As far as money goes, it's the exact opposite.
It'd be a neat challenge to try and find someone who's employed or who's been employed and doesn't have a facebook status, tweet, or blog post about how much they dislike their job on whatever day. That's because it's all over the place. People bemoaning work, complaining there's no time for other things or that they're being treated unfairly or with a lack of competence. There wouldn't be parodies about the poor judgment of bosses and co-workers if they didn't happen. Stories about incompetence or perceived incompetence in the workplace sometimes seem to take center stage in one's life, and become the most commonly told.
When you live with employed people, you get to see just how much their job wears them out. Coming home with all the huffing and puffing and head shaking. Days seem to range from the mundane to the truly trying. Part of it always seems to be the changing nature of the workplace. There's all these rules and regulations that, if they weren't in place, life would be much easier. This is especially true in jobs that deal with people...people that you have to be nice to. Nice, but not honest.
Retail has a reputation for being brutal, which is kind of ironic since it's often the go-to source for entry-level jobs. Yet this is where you have to reason with people who would refute it. Everyone's heard a story or even been in one themselves in which a customer is simply wrong on so many levels to a degree that they're impeding productivity and frustrating everyone within a ten foot radius. The employee can't really do anything with that person to convince them peacefully that they were right. These sorts of things are what make jobs so trying.
Let me level with you for a second. I can't drive to school without shaking my head at some of the decisions the common people around me make. I want to shake my head at the speed demons, traffic weavers, and chronic texters...I want to smack the ass-sniffers, shoulder runners, and blinker ignorers. All of these people shop, and in that situation their behaviors must be the same but different. I can't imagine those with such blatant regards for simple laws would be inclined to be more polite inside a store. Huh, that really sounds like the makings of a good Psychology study.
Still, the point is, I'm not sure I could handle incompetence. I mean, I can barely talk to people as it is, let alone people I might clash with. I'm fairly avoidant of situations that would involve a confrontation, meaning I avoid a pretty large number of people. Why? Well, in the last blog post I talked about how much I don't agree with a dislike button, clearly I'm not about to actively get into a disagreement with someone. Me trying to deal with a rowdy person trying to deal with someone who just won't accept their coupon doesn't work the way they think it does? It's gonna mess with me. Maybe not outwardly, maybe not in such away that it manifests on the internet, but yeah, it will. Stupid little things that no one thinks twice about stay in my head for more time than they're worth. A full day on the job would be an overload.
And while we're on the topic of me, let me just say that with all the percentage of people who say their jobs are a total drag and sap up all their free time forever, is it any wonder I'm wary about getting a job? Let's face it, at this point I'm not likely to get a job that's particularly fulfilling or life-changing for someone else, either. So honestly, other than getting out of my house, the only other incentive is money, which, despite wanting things from time to time, I honestly don't consume much of. So what I end up getting is a big ol' time sink that gets me some money to spend in the time I'm not actually working or college-ing. Not to mention I could certainly see myself complaining a lot more about doing something I hate than doing nothing.
I'm not saying the sentiment won't change. There are larger, more expensive endeavors that I have in my line of sight for the future. If I had the money from a job, I'd be taking them wherever I could. I'd be able to get better equipment for making LPs and other computer-related products. The thing is, I'm just not sure the costs outweight the benefits at this point. Some day, that may not be the case. In fact if things keep going as they are, that day is on its way. I know that at some point, employment will be damn near a necessity, and that eventually that change will come. This is yet another reason I need to solidify creative endeavors like this blog and my Lets Plays into my life. No matter the form, I simply cannot allow these types of things to leave my life, lest I come to accept a "normal" existence.
And one more point, one that I find more interesting than "I don't want a job." I have a pretty big inferiority complex about people my age who have jobs. I believe that this is one of the underlying reasons I've lost a bunch of friends since high school ended almost two years ago. My best friends that have gotten jobs are the same ones I no longer talk to. Something about coming up with something to say in reply to "I've mostly been working, what have you been doing?" just makes me squirm. For whatever reason I think jobs make people look more mature and farther along in life than just what I'm doing. Surely, these people must look at me and say "Tch, he doesn't know anything about my life, he doesn't even work!" In response I hear "Well with the way you talk about it, can you blame me?" in my head, but I couldn't say it even so, since I feel like that would be somehow rude or offensive. In some cases, it's the truth.
It's a fallacy to look at a friend who has two jobs right now and think that they're doing so much more than I am, meanwhile part of my rationale for not getting employed is that entry-level jobs are generally not fulfilling or helpful to people at large. This type of fallacy is rampant in my brain, particularly on this subject, and it's part of what shuts me off from people who have jobs. Working doesn't actually change who people are, despite bringing out the worst in them and taking up their time. Part of me fears too, that they might even be a little jealous when I say I'm free for anything anytime, since there's no doubt they'd like just a little bit of that. So on one end they might look down on me for being a bum, and on the other they admire me because I'm free. See how this is kind of a vicious cycle? The real ringer is that there really is no good logic to it.
I've lost friends to both jobs and myself, and am honestly at a point where I don't have all that much to lose by getting a job myself. I still resist, however, because that which those friends have moved onto is not necessarily better, and the evidence of that is everywhere. At this point, doing as they do will not bring them back. It can only empower me to talk to them again, at most. But if that's what ultimately happens, do I really want to talk to them about jobs? If it's the case that we get onto the topic for some time, then it certainly appears that we're letting our jobs define us. If that is the case, what are we? I'd much prefer to be true to myself and who I want to be than to allow something I perceive as menial to define who I am at any point.
Why does this song upset me so? Because when Dexter sings it, it sounds like he's talking to me. It's true, I'm twenty and haven't had a job ever. My Mom really wants me to get one, yeah, and why shouldn't I? My sister had a job when she was twenty, her second, in fact. Quite a lot of people my age have jobs too. It's an act of growing up and accepting responsibility, except with cash. Being a gamer and a musicy guy, there's almost always something I'd be interested in buying.
Of course, when have I been a "normal kid" with, y'know "common sense?" Okay, I can't really use that as an excuse. There are a lot of little things I'd like to say, but they'd all just be excuses with very little actual value, or they wouldn't capture my full rationale. My reasoning is still fairly simple however. Bad advertising. Really, employment has some of the worst advertising anything can get, which is really ironic since getting a job isn't as simple as just buying something. As far as money goes, it's the exact opposite.
It'd be a neat challenge to try and find someone who's employed or who's been employed and doesn't have a facebook status, tweet, or blog post about how much they dislike their job on whatever day. That's because it's all over the place. People bemoaning work, complaining there's no time for other things or that they're being treated unfairly or with a lack of competence. There wouldn't be parodies about the poor judgment of bosses and co-workers if they didn't happen. Stories about incompetence or perceived incompetence in the workplace sometimes seem to take center stage in one's life, and become the most commonly told.
When you live with employed people, you get to see just how much their job wears them out. Coming home with all the huffing and puffing and head shaking. Days seem to range from the mundane to the truly trying. Part of it always seems to be the changing nature of the workplace. There's all these rules and regulations that, if they weren't in place, life would be much easier. This is especially true in jobs that deal with people...people that you have to be nice to. Nice, but not honest.
Retail has a reputation for being brutal, which is kind of ironic since it's often the go-to source for entry-level jobs. Yet this is where you have to reason with people who would refute it. Everyone's heard a story or even been in one themselves in which a customer is simply wrong on so many levels to a degree that they're impeding productivity and frustrating everyone within a ten foot radius. The employee can't really do anything with that person to convince them peacefully that they were right. These sorts of things are what make jobs so trying.
Let me level with you for a second. I can't drive to school without shaking my head at some of the decisions the common people around me make. I want to shake my head at the speed demons, traffic weavers, and chronic texters...I want to smack the ass-sniffers, shoulder runners, and blinker ignorers. All of these people shop, and in that situation their behaviors must be the same but different. I can't imagine those with such blatant regards for simple laws would be inclined to be more polite inside a store. Huh, that really sounds like the makings of a good Psychology study.
Still, the point is, I'm not sure I could handle incompetence. I mean, I can barely talk to people as it is, let alone people I might clash with. I'm fairly avoidant of situations that would involve a confrontation, meaning I avoid a pretty large number of people. Why? Well, in the last blog post I talked about how much I don't agree with a dislike button, clearly I'm not about to actively get into a disagreement with someone. Me trying to deal with a rowdy person trying to deal with someone who just won't accept their coupon doesn't work the way they think it does? It's gonna mess with me. Maybe not outwardly, maybe not in such away that it manifests on the internet, but yeah, it will. Stupid little things that no one thinks twice about stay in my head for more time than they're worth. A full day on the job would be an overload.
And while we're on the topic of me, let me just say that with all the percentage of people who say their jobs are a total drag and sap up all their free time forever, is it any wonder I'm wary about getting a job? Let's face it, at this point I'm not likely to get a job that's particularly fulfilling or life-changing for someone else, either. So honestly, other than getting out of my house, the only other incentive is money, which, despite wanting things from time to time, I honestly don't consume much of. So what I end up getting is a big ol' time sink that gets me some money to spend in the time I'm not actually working or college-ing. Not to mention I could certainly see myself complaining a lot more about doing something I hate than doing nothing.
I'm not saying the sentiment won't change. There are larger, more expensive endeavors that I have in my line of sight for the future. If I had the money from a job, I'd be taking them wherever I could. I'd be able to get better equipment for making LPs and other computer-related products. The thing is, I'm just not sure the costs outweight the benefits at this point. Some day, that may not be the case. In fact if things keep going as they are, that day is on its way. I know that at some point, employment will be damn near a necessity, and that eventually that change will come. This is yet another reason I need to solidify creative endeavors like this blog and my Lets Plays into my life. No matter the form, I simply cannot allow these types of things to leave my life, lest I come to accept a "normal" existence.
And one more point, one that I find more interesting than "I don't want a job." I have a pretty big inferiority complex about people my age who have jobs. I believe that this is one of the underlying reasons I've lost a bunch of friends since high school ended almost two years ago. My best friends that have gotten jobs are the same ones I no longer talk to. Something about coming up with something to say in reply to "I've mostly been working, what have you been doing?" just makes me squirm. For whatever reason I think jobs make people look more mature and farther along in life than just what I'm doing. Surely, these people must look at me and say "Tch, he doesn't know anything about my life, he doesn't even work!" In response I hear "Well with the way you talk about it, can you blame me?" in my head, but I couldn't say it even so, since I feel like that would be somehow rude or offensive. In some cases, it's the truth.
It's a fallacy to look at a friend who has two jobs right now and think that they're doing so much more than I am, meanwhile part of my rationale for not getting employed is that entry-level jobs are generally not fulfilling or helpful to people at large. This type of fallacy is rampant in my brain, particularly on this subject, and it's part of what shuts me off from people who have jobs. Working doesn't actually change who people are, despite bringing out the worst in them and taking up their time. Part of me fears too, that they might even be a little jealous when I say I'm free for anything anytime, since there's no doubt they'd like just a little bit of that. So on one end they might look down on me for being a bum, and on the other they admire me because I'm free. See how this is kind of a vicious cycle? The real ringer is that there really is no good logic to it.
I've lost friends to both jobs and myself, and am honestly at a point where I don't have all that much to lose by getting a job myself. I still resist, however, because that which those friends have moved onto is not necessarily better, and the evidence of that is everywhere. At this point, doing as they do will not bring them back. It can only empower me to talk to them again, at most. But if that's what ultimately happens, do I really want to talk to them about jobs? If it's the case that we get onto the topic for some time, then it certainly appears that we're letting our jobs define us. If that is the case, what are we? I'd much prefer to be true to myself and who I want to be than to allow something I perceive as menial to define who I am at any point.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Dislike
Where have I been? You don't wanna know where I've been. Okay, so I got a mini blog on GDC, that's why it's been something like six days. Well, that and I've actually had issues thinking of good topics that I actually want to write about. But today several sound good.
Today I'd like to talk about yet another internet phenomena. The Like Button's lesser known but cult favorite little brother,Luigi The Dislike Button. The war for a dislike button has been going on on Facebook for a while now. It kind of makes sense really, since liking someone's status that says something like "I hate being sick" doesn't convey the sympathy that you're trying to give, but don't need to put into words. So honestly, I get why people would want a dislike button.
What people never seem to mention is that there's at least one other big site out there that already uses a dislike button, and that's YouTube. Now, admittedly, YouTube is a much, much different beast than Facebook. For one, Facebook is for your friends, not the whole world. Youtube is quite a bit more business oriented, since it's a place to get noticed and, potentially, make a living off of. You're far more prone to trolls there, too, since again, unless you make a video private or unlisted, it's out there for everyone. It's interesting because it's these differences are what start to give the dislike button a bad name. It wasn't until I started thinking about the uses of the dislike button on youtube that I started to realize there's no real point to it.
The only thing a dislike button really does is inject negativity in the comment and provide fodder for [witty] comments. Oh, and in some cases, it gives people reason to believe they're actually hurting someone...this is usually in the case of some corporation or someone that was trolling anyway. But really, if you already have a button that's used to increase exposure and attention, why do you need one to decrease it? I mean, let's take me as an example. Fire Emblem Episode 28 had like 40some views when it got a dislike, it's only rating at the time. It's already clear there's not a whole lot of people viewing this video, so what more can you really take away from it? At that point the dislike is just kinda hurtful. It basically gives viewers the ability to beat on a dead horse while it's down.
"But Sarge, why don't you just shrug it off?" Well firstly because I don't have anyone to do so, and secondly because I'm using it as an example. Yeah, you shouldn't take dislikes to heart, but you shouldn't like them either. That's kind of the whole point. You can't really make anything positive of it without making yourself look like a doormat. In this case, what does the dislike button do? Nothing particularly bad, but nothing good either. Can we at least agree that we need more positivity in this world?
Of course, if we wanted to eliminate negativity, we'd have to get rid of comments too, which honestly are often worse that the dislike button. In that case, however, the comment itself is neutral, and gives the video attention. When you see the number of comments on a statistics page, there's not a connotation to the number. It can't be interpreted. Dislikes, even as a number next to a connotative symbol, always carry that same negative meaning. Even if a comment is bad, an accompanying dislike is basically just rubbing salt in the wound.
That being said, I can still see where dislikes are apart of expression. That totally makes sense to me. What doesn't is trying to use it to trash a person, especially if they're just trying to get off the ground. YouTube used to use a 0-5 star rating system instead of a like/dislike system, and while that's more complicated and can still be used negatively, it gives the more rational people a chance to be more rational and not slap a person with this label just because of a minor or legitimate issue in the video. Plus, the ratings were ultimately shown as an average unless someone was really interested in the actual statistics of the video, which is a little bit better than the bar they use now. One dislike on a video and the whole thing is red, something that can only be eliminated with a great deal more likes. It's really a bit of a scarlet letter.
On top of all this, the entire system is subjective. "Like" and "Dislike" ultimately don't mean anything like they do on Facebook. When someone does either, all it means is that one person thought something about that video. In reality, there are no bad YouTube videos just like there are no bad songs or movies or anything like that, since opinions are ultimately subjective. On Youtube, views and comments speak for themselves, and the way the site is organized so that more popular things are more likely to get noticed is a direct route to explaining why that happens anyway. Likes and Dislikes just tend to complicate things like that.
What are dislikes generally used for, anyway? In most cases when you see a like/dislike bar full of red, it's usually because it's really cool to hate on that particular video, even when its a case of "so bad it's good." Kinda like Rebecca Black. There are a crazy amount of dislikes on that video, probably given by people who laughed at the video. Playstation's The Tester only has dislikes because its not "The Egoraptor Show" and therefore all of Egoraptor's Youtube-based fans hate it. I'll never defend The Tester's integrity in any way, but disliking the video doesn't really do anything. First off because Playstation isn't a person, so you can't hurt its feelings or make it think about whether it's liked or disliked. Second off, even if there is a person behind the Youtube channel, the only number they're likely to care about is the views, which have to be given in order to dislike something. Third off, The Tester is a production, and disliking it a bunch of times isn't going to bring Egoraptor back onto the show or make Sony think twice about running the next episode. So if you dislike a video that's small and unpopular, you can hurt people, and if you dislike a popular video, it doesn't really mean shit.
Personally, I don't think I've ever used the dislike button on Youtube. I've never felt so strongly against something I've clicked on that I want to put a mark of negativity on something. I think this is largely because I don't watch things I'm not interested in. No one's shoving anything down my throat on Youtube, and that's great. If I do happen to run across a video that isn't what I expect or doesn't strike my fancy, I just click away from it. Even if there were a video of someone doing something that was purposefully and legitimately offensive, there are more effective and appropriate ways of dealing with it. All that said, I've just never felt any reason to give out dislikes. I've liked a shit ton of videos, largely in order to remember them...but I can't really un-remember something by disliking it. That's my personal rationale.
While I still believe the dislike button is a much different beast in the arena of Facebook, I find myself wondering if it's really even necessary. I've always said an "agree" button would convery most of the things people would want to communicate with a "dislike" button. Besides, even though Facebook is for friends, people don't stay that way, and when they don't that button is rife for abuse on all of your accomplishments and spasms of joy. There's plenty out there to dislike on Facebook (which reminds me...imagine "disliking" a page....if liking it gives you updates on your feed, what woud disliking it serve to do?) but it's much better for not letting people spew it all over the place. We already know that people have bigger balls on the internet, and I really don't want any of that all over my already drama-filled news feed.
Today I'd like to talk about yet another internet phenomena. The Like Button's lesser known but cult favorite little brother,
What people never seem to mention is that there's at least one other big site out there that already uses a dislike button, and that's YouTube. Now, admittedly, YouTube is a much, much different beast than Facebook. For one, Facebook is for your friends, not the whole world. Youtube is quite a bit more business oriented, since it's a place to get noticed and, potentially, make a living off of. You're far more prone to trolls there, too, since again, unless you make a video private or unlisted, it's out there for everyone. It's interesting because it's these differences are what start to give the dislike button a bad name. It wasn't until I started thinking about the uses of the dislike button on youtube that I started to realize there's no real point to it.
The only thing a dislike button really does is inject negativity in the comment and provide fodder for [witty] comments. Oh, and in some cases, it gives people reason to believe they're actually hurting someone...this is usually in the case of some corporation or someone that was trolling anyway. But really, if you already have a button that's used to increase exposure and attention, why do you need one to decrease it? I mean, let's take me as an example. Fire Emblem Episode 28 had like 40some views when it got a dislike, it's only rating at the time. It's already clear there's not a whole lot of people viewing this video, so what more can you really take away from it? At that point the dislike is just kinda hurtful. It basically gives viewers the ability to beat on a dead horse while it's down.
"But Sarge, why don't you just shrug it off?" Well firstly because I don't have anyone to do so, and secondly because I'm using it as an example. Yeah, you shouldn't take dislikes to heart, but you shouldn't like them either. That's kind of the whole point. You can't really make anything positive of it without making yourself look like a doormat. In this case, what does the dislike button do? Nothing particularly bad, but nothing good either. Can we at least agree that we need more positivity in this world?
Of course, if we wanted to eliminate negativity, we'd have to get rid of comments too, which honestly are often worse that the dislike button. In that case, however, the comment itself is neutral, and gives the video attention. When you see the number of comments on a statistics page, there's not a connotation to the number. It can't be interpreted. Dislikes, even as a number next to a connotative symbol, always carry that same negative meaning. Even if a comment is bad, an accompanying dislike is basically just rubbing salt in the wound.
That being said, I can still see where dislikes are apart of expression. That totally makes sense to me. What doesn't is trying to use it to trash a person, especially if they're just trying to get off the ground. YouTube used to use a 0-5 star rating system instead of a like/dislike system, and while that's more complicated and can still be used negatively, it gives the more rational people a chance to be more rational and not slap a person with this label just because of a minor or legitimate issue in the video. Plus, the ratings were ultimately shown as an average unless someone was really interested in the actual statistics of the video, which is a little bit better than the bar they use now. One dislike on a video and the whole thing is red, something that can only be eliminated with a great deal more likes. It's really a bit of a scarlet letter.
On top of all this, the entire system is subjective. "Like" and "Dislike" ultimately don't mean anything like they do on Facebook. When someone does either, all it means is that one person thought something about that video. In reality, there are no bad YouTube videos just like there are no bad songs or movies or anything like that, since opinions are ultimately subjective. On Youtube, views and comments speak for themselves, and the way the site is organized so that more popular things are more likely to get noticed is a direct route to explaining why that happens anyway. Likes and Dislikes just tend to complicate things like that.
What are dislikes generally used for, anyway? In most cases when you see a like/dislike bar full of red, it's usually because it's really cool to hate on that particular video, even when its a case of "so bad it's good." Kinda like Rebecca Black. There are a crazy amount of dislikes on that video, probably given by people who laughed at the video. Playstation's The Tester only has dislikes because its not "The Egoraptor Show" and therefore all of Egoraptor's Youtube-based fans hate it. I'll never defend The Tester's integrity in any way, but disliking the video doesn't really do anything. First off because Playstation isn't a person, so you can't hurt its feelings or make it think about whether it's liked or disliked. Second off, even if there is a person behind the Youtube channel, the only number they're likely to care about is the views, which have to be given in order to dislike something. Third off, The Tester is a production, and disliking it a bunch of times isn't going to bring Egoraptor back onto the show or make Sony think twice about running the next episode. So if you dislike a video that's small and unpopular, you can hurt people, and if you dislike a popular video, it doesn't really mean shit.
Personally, I don't think I've ever used the dislike button on Youtube. I've never felt so strongly against something I've clicked on that I want to put a mark of negativity on something. I think this is largely because I don't watch things I'm not interested in. No one's shoving anything down my throat on Youtube, and that's great. If I do happen to run across a video that isn't what I expect or doesn't strike my fancy, I just click away from it. Even if there were a video of someone doing something that was purposefully and legitimately offensive, there are more effective and appropriate ways of dealing with it. All that said, I've just never felt any reason to give out dislikes. I've liked a shit ton of videos, largely in order to remember them...but I can't really un-remember something by disliking it. That's my personal rationale.
While I still believe the dislike button is a much different beast in the arena of Facebook, I find myself wondering if it's really even necessary. I've always said an "agree" button would convery most of the things people would want to communicate with a "dislike" button. Besides, even though Facebook is for friends, people don't stay that way, and when they don't that button is rife for abuse on all of your accomplishments and spasms of joy. There's plenty out there to dislike on Facebook (which reminds me...imagine "disliking" a page....if liking it gives you updates on your feed, what woud disliking it serve to do?) but it's much better for not letting people spew it all over the place. We already know that people have bigger balls on the internet, and I really don't want any of that all over my already drama-filled news feed.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Pocket Sized Irony
There's nothing quite like starting a new Pokemon game. Even if it's a version you've already played and just started over, the excitement of choosing your starter (one of the hardest decisions of all time), and taking over the world one step at a time is unfailingly overwhelming. But why? How does Pokemon induce such excitement?
There are so many things about Pokemon games that set them apart from every other game out there, not the least of which is the fact that every single game and file is completely different. The odds of one playthrough being identical to another would make C3P0 blush. I mean, you could theoretically raise the same six Pokemon as before, but even within those six there will be differences, especially in later generations. Unlike a Zelda or a Mario game, where Goombas and Bokoblins will always be in the same place, Pokemon has a crap ton of random elements to it, and the fact that there are over 100 of what are essentially "playable characters" means that this is one open ended game, and you've got a lot of choices to make.
The sheer amount of things left to chance in these games are part of what makes them feel so huge. Provided you avoid spoilers like the plague before getting the latest game, Pokemon will provide you with a huge world full of mysteries. Exploration is something that simply cannot be removed from these games, and combing every inch of the world up and down is always best the first time. I tend to take "tours' of the region after I've beaten the game and gained the ability to access the whole map, but it's just not the same as NEEDING to stay in one route just to level up a little bit more. Try dawdling on a route after beating the game and you'll wonder why the hell you spent an hour there in the same spot before...yet you did, and you loved it.
The answer to the posed question is actually given in game. You care about your Pokemon, or at least, your reputation. You don't want them to lose, and take pride in them getting that next level, especially after walking into an entirely new route where the wild Pokemon have higher levels than your own. Even if Professor Oak is pulling the bit about "loving and caring for your Pokemon" out of his ass, losing is bad, and getting stronger and learning new techniques is good, even if it's just standard progress. Pokemon, again, unlike some video game heroes, are incredibly dynamic. Starting out, you can only guess when/if one you catch might evolve or learn a powerful new move. Hell, you can only guess what kind of Pokemon you'll actually see out there...you'll never know when a new favorite will pop up.
In that regard, I must say Generation 5 really stuck out. Taking all the old Pokemon out and giving us a world where absolutely everything was new was absolutely the best thing Nintendo could have done. It was kind of like playing Red and Blue again...except not really. When I think back to when I first played Red, I think about how much I got absolutely lost. I mean, I didn't even figure out how to save my game until after a day or so of playing...meaning I started my game over about four times. I can remember me flipping through warp panels over and over and pressing so many buttons trying to escape from the ghost in Pokemon Tower. Funny...since I never remember actually getting anywhere. I'm fairly certain my Venusaur was level 87 when I actually beat the game. That should show you just how confused I was way back then.
There was a point, too, when I tried to deny the adventure that is Pokemon. In fact, I don't remember what it was that finally made me get Pokemon Pearl, but alas, I almost didn't. It took until the battle interface design, of all things, got me to purchase SoulSilver that I realized that Pokemon had a charm that could never be denied. It's just something about raising a team and the pride that comes with them finally triumphing over tougher and tougher opponents that enthralls me. For the first time since Generation 3, I'm inclined to buy the second version of this generation. The root of it is the addition of a true blue story in Pokemon Black and White, which in my opinion is worth seeing again on its own...well that and hearing Team Plasma's battle theme a few dozen more times.
Ultimately, while a Pokemon world post-credits is still alive and huge, it feels somehow emptier. All the evil grunts are gone, the gyms are silent, and the surprises are few, especially after all the Legendaries are gone. I'm the kind of person who just can't erase a file in a main game and start over again, either. I get attached to my Pokemon, like a good Trainer should, and yet, it's hard to stay interested for some reason. I believe the reason I know the old games so well is simply because I did get to play through them twice due to having both versions. My first run of Pokemon Blue, for example, went notably better than my one of Red...or at least I don't remember just being stuck all the time. Then I went through Kanto again in Yellow. What I'm realizing now again in the fifth generation is that all Pokemon games deserve a second go-round, just to feel the excitement of raising an entirely new team and conquering things in a different way than I did before. That is one of the true beauties of the Pokemon series.
I cannot wait to step into Unova for the first time, again. I'll get to relive my first adventure with the addition of the knowledge I gained from it. It will be familiar, yet new, and just as exciting as I take a new set of friends into the fray. I might know what's waiting for me out there, but I don't know what I'll do with it. No other game series feels as good to start and play through...and no other game series made me wish there was just one more save file...
Monday, February 13, 2012
The Last Name in Rock
Like everyone on the internet, I have my opinion on the Grammys, so I didn't really feel the need to say anything about them. Of course, when my favorite little monster decided to voice hers, I figured it wouldn't be terrible of me to talk about it either. I was already planning a little bit for a post on it anyway, because there was something that went on that I, and various sections of twitter, thought were interesting.
One of the cool things about the Grammys were all the camps that were behind Album of the Year. Instead of them all being the latest R&B hitmakers, there was actually a little variance from soulful Adele to Rihanna Rihanna to rockers Foo Fighters. Anyone that knew me in 2011 would know who I was rooting for, even though I knew it was a long shot. I was a huge fan of Wasting Light when it came out last year, and I was actually surprised when it got nominated, though it completely deserved it. I'm not going to list a whole bunch of reasons that Foo Fighters should have won in that category, but needless to say I think the world would be no worse off if they had.
Anyone watching kind of knew that Foo Fighters was the odd man out, especially in the show as whole. They were the only real rock outfit there, and the only ones in rock outfits. While Bruno Mars had the snazzy gold jackets, Nicki Minaj was dressed like the pope (god only knows why...but I think that's the point), and Taylor Swift tried to warn us what she'd look like in Les Miserables (no really, that's a real rumor), Foo Fighters showed up in t-shirts, occasionally with blazers over them. Where Chris Brown had Cube Mountain, Bruno Mars had a 50s diner, and Paul McCartney had his backup orchestra, the Foo Fighters had, a few lights...and they weren't even in the same room as everyone else. Instead of being in there with all the "rich asses" (thanks Bruno), they were out in the tent with a bunch of screaming kids.
You know what? Suits them just fine, kind of like not winning Album of the Year. Through their performances and their one acceptance speech, the Foo Fighters kindly nodded their heads to what they were all about. Dave Grohl wanted to win something so badly just so he could stand up there and say "We won a Grammy with an album we made in a garage just like all the youngins just starting out." Granted, anyone who's seen Back and Forth, a documentary about the band's history and the making of Wasting Light, knows that Dave Grohl's garage is quite a bit fancier than theirs, but the idea actually works since they basically did get their own equipment, and they did record on analog tape (which was later divided and distributed in copies of the album, which was awesome). After making the album, they went on a North American tour...in people's real, shoddy garages (size-permitting). Has any other musician ever done that?
So let's see, album made in a fancy garage, gave out pieces of the tape to people who bought the album, played in peoples garages, came to the fanciest-dressing event next to the Oscars wearing t-shirts, and played away from all the other people in front of fans. It's clear. Foo Fighters are a band for the people. They're about raw music that doesn't lend itself to glitz and glamour that the average person can't understand. Very few of the other performances that went on at the Grammys last night could have happened anywhere else, but you can put Foo Fighters in your garage or basement and they can go on doing their thing. What Dave said was absolutely true, the Foo Fighters' music comes from the head and the heart, and it stays there. It isn't about being perfect, it's about being true.
And then, of course, they played him off to LMFAO.
I'm not saying, and maybe Dave isn't either, that you can't have an album recorded by computers that isn't filled to the brim with heart and soul. That might be your vision, but it's not necessarily the best way to make your music. In a world where you can have a "musical performance" consist of one guy jumping and dancing around a cube mountain with the rest of his sounds coming from nowhere, it's nice to know that if you really wanted to, you could make music in such a way that you could take it anywhere with you and play it just like it was recorded.
That's what rock n roll was back in the day, really, kinda like all music. It appealed to the struggling, fighting, kicking, screaming youth, and I feel like Foo Fighters were one of the few musicians at the awards last night who appealed to that side of us. Even Paul McCartney, who helped blow up the scene back in those days, was incredibly subdued, certainly not falling into the rock category. And within the category considering awards, it certainly seems like the academy has no idea what "rocking" means any more. Mumford & Sons? Coldplay? Radiohead? Because I can get wild to that sort of thing, yes. Listen to those groups, then throw on "Bridge Burning" from Wasting Light.
The fact of the matter is that Foo Fighters are one of a kind right now. Wasting Light explodes from speakers and is as loud as it can possibly make itself. There's not a whole lot of "loud" out there right now. "SUBWOOFER DEATH" maybe, but not pure, raw, balanced LOUD. Everyone these days seems to need an orchestra telling us how they felt about when someone cheated, double crossed or pissed them off, or in Taylor Swift's case, a whole album's worth of songs, and even she does it almost as quietly as possible. This is why I love Butch Vig. When I heard he was producing Foo Fighters' new album coming off of the equally explosive 21st Century Breakdown from Green Day, I knew it was a match made in heaven, and by God, it is. Foo Fighters is like a huge oil tanker, typically, which can be pretty awesome, but Vig brought the matches, and the result is a huge explosion...and everyone loves watchng shit blow up.
But wait what? Coming up next is a tribute to dance music featuring Foo Fighters and Deadmau5? Didnt' Dave just said computers weren't what it takes to make music? Well, first off, this collaboration comes as no surprise to people who bought the deluxe edition of Wasting Light, which featured exactly what they played. Still, even when the Foos end of it finished, we got a shot of Dave bobbing his head to whatever Deadmau5 was spinning next, doesn't that make him a hypocrite? I don't think so, personally, and maybe that's just because of my background knowledge that at some point, the Foos and Deadmau worked together and came up with this idea. I belive that Dave was interested in someone taking this song that he wrote and changing it around completely. Listen to the remix of Rope and you'll see it's a much different song, to an interesting degree even.
Of course, if you're still not convinced, consider that perhaps Dave was employing antithesis to prove his point. He gives you a taste of the rock, shows you what's in between (the point where he was singing to Deadmau's remix I thought was wildly organic-sounding), and then let's you hear what it's like computer-only, letting you decide for yourself what sounds the best. Maybe it's just his way of acknowleding both sides, and presenting all parts of the argument. Either way, a pretty smart move.
So while Adele was talk of the night, and everyone else kept it quiet enough to be allowed into the actual Staples Center, I think the Foo Fighters were the most poignant of the participants of this year's Grammys. They walk in with something totally different than everyone else off of a record with raw emotion that punches the teeth out of the listener. When it comes to rock music, I'm so glad we have Foo Fighters to represent us and kick ass where ass needs kicked. We need another band or two like them so that people will stop bitching that they got to play twice, and we don't get another "R&B"er that just lip syncs through a song.
-Other Grammy Notes-
Oh yeah, and I learned last night never to follow stuff like this on twitter. I learned pretty quickly that not everyone is a fan, even though they have no reason to hate on something different (the same could be said about the people I've poked fun at here, but a good few of them can come back when they have all their music being played right there on stage, and even more of them can come back when they've got something new to sing about). Hell, I even learned apparently Foo Fighters are AIDS deniers of some sort and that this makes people stop liking their music that is in no way about denying AIDS (this is a topic I've wanted to write about for a while, so yeah, coming soon...(that hating idea, not AIDS)). So yeah, never again with the public opinion as it happens.
The Grammys as whole were interesting, since I largely haven't been paying attention to popular music in the past year. Honestly, I didn't really hate any songs that I heard (disliked one or two, but not like "blam this piece of talentless shit"), and liked a few more (Bruno Mars, I thought, was pretty charming actually, and that song had a great riff), so it was ultimately fun getting caught up. Of course, I thought it needed more rock...and I hope to God Green Day has a new album for us by next year to fill the gap that the Foo Fighters are gonna leave.
One of the cool things about the Grammys were all the camps that were behind Album of the Year. Instead of them all being the latest R&B hitmakers, there was actually a little variance from soulful Adele to Rihanna Rihanna to rockers Foo Fighters. Anyone that knew me in 2011 would know who I was rooting for, even though I knew it was a long shot. I was a huge fan of Wasting Light when it came out last year, and I was actually surprised when it got nominated, though it completely deserved it. I'm not going to list a whole bunch of reasons that Foo Fighters should have won in that category, but needless to say I think the world would be no worse off if they had.
Anyone watching kind of knew that Foo Fighters was the odd man out, especially in the show as whole. They were the only real rock outfit there, and the only ones in rock outfits. While Bruno Mars had the snazzy gold jackets, Nicki Minaj was dressed like the pope (god only knows why...but I think that's the point), and Taylor Swift tried to warn us what she'd look like in Les Miserables (no really, that's a real rumor), Foo Fighters showed up in t-shirts, occasionally with blazers over them. Where Chris Brown had Cube Mountain, Bruno Mars had a 50s diner, and Paul McCartney had his backup orchestra, the Foo Fighters had, a few lights...and they weren't even in the same room as everyone else. Instead of being in there with all the "rich asses" (thanks Bruno), they were out in the tent with a bunch of screaming kids.
You know what? Suits them just fine, kind of like not winning Album of the Year. Through their performances and their one acceptance speech, the Foo Fighters kindly nodded their heads to what they were all about. Dave Grohl wanted to win something so badly just so he could stand up there and say "We won a Grammy with an album we made in a garage just like all the youngins just starting out." Granted, anyone who's seen Back and Forth, a documentary about the band's history and the making of Wasting Light, knows that Dave Grohl's garage is quite a bit fancier than theirs, but the idea actually works since they basically did get their own equipment, and they did record on analog tape (which was later divided and distributed in copies of the album, which was awesome). After making the album, they went on a North American tour...in people's real, shoddy garages (size-permitting). Has any other musician ever done that?
So let's see, album made in a fancy garage, gave out pieces of the tape to people who bought the album, played in peoples garages, came to the fanciest-dressing event next to the Oscars wearing t-shirts, and played away from all the other people in front of fans. It's clear. Foo Fighters are a band for the people. They're about raw music that doesn't lend itself to glitz and glamour that the average person can't understand. Very few of the other performances that went on at the Grammys last night could have happened anywhere else, but you can put Foo Fighters in your garage or basement and they can go on doing their thing. What Dave said was absolutely true, the Foo Fighters' music comes from the head and the heart, and it stays there. It isn't about being perfect, it's about being true.
And then, of course, they played him off to LMFAO.
I'm not saying, and maybe Dave isn't either, that you can't have an album recorded by computers that isn't filled to the brim with heart and soul. That might be your vision, but it's not necessarily the best way to make your music. In a world where you can have a "musical performance" consist of one guy jumping and dancing around a cube mountain with the rest of his sounds coming from nowhere, it's nice to know that if you really wanted to, you could make music in such a way that you could take it anywhere with you and play it just like it was recorded.
That's what rock n roll was back in the day, really, kinda like all music. It appealed to the struggling, fighting, kicking, screaming youth, and I feel like Foo Fighters were one of the few musicians at the awards last night who appealed to that side of us. Even Paul McCartney, who helped blow up the scene back in those days, was incredibly subdued, certainly not falling into the rock category. And within the category considering awards, it certainly seems like the academy has no idea what "rocking" means any more. Mumford & Sons? Coldplay? Radiohead? Because I can get wild to that sort of thing, yes. Listen to those groups, then throw on "Bridge Burning" from Wasting Light.
The fact of the matter is that Foo Fighters are one of a kind right now. Wasting Light explodes from speakers and is as loud as it can possibly make itself. There's not a whole lot of "loud" out there right now. "SUBWOOFER DEATH" maybe, but not pure, raw, balanced LOUD. Everyone these days seems to need an orchestra telling us how they felt about when someone cheated, double crossed or pissed them off, or in Taylor Swift's case, a whole album's worth of songs, and even she does it almost as quietly as possible. This is why I love Butch Vig. When I heard he was producing Foo Fighters' new album coming off of the equally explosive 21st Century Breakdown from Green Day, I knew it was a match made in heaven, and by God, it is. Foo Fighters is like a huge oil tanker, typically, which can be pretty awesome, but Vig brought the matches, and the result is a huge explosion...and everyone loves watchng shit blow up.
But wait what? Coming up next is a tribute to dance music featuring Foo Fighters and Deadmau5? Didnt' Dave just said computers weren't what it takes to make music? Well, first off, this collaboration comes as no surprise to people who bought the deluxe edition of Wasting Light, which featured exactly what they played. Still, even when the Foos end of it finished, we got a shot of Dave bobbing his head to whatever Deadmau5 was spinning next, doesn't that make him a hypocrite? I don't think so, personally, and maybe that's just because of my background knowledge that at some point, the Foos and Deadmau worked together and came up with this idea. I belive that Dave was interested in someone taking this song that he wrote and changing it around completely. Listen to the remix of Rope and you'll see it's a much different song, to an interesting degree even.
Of course, if you're still not convinced, consider that perhaps Dave was employing antithesis to prove his point. He gives you a taste of the rock, shows you what's in between (the point where he was singing to Deadmau's remix I thought was wildly organic-sounding), and then let's you hear what it's like computer-only, letting you decide for yourself what sounds the best. Maybe it's just his way of acknowleding both sides, and presenting all parts of the argument. Either way, a pretty smart move.
So while Adele was talk of the night, and everyone else kept it quiet enough to be allowed into the actual Staples Center, I think the Foo Fighters were the most poignant of the participants of this year's Grammys. They walk in with something totally different than everyone else off of a record with raw emotion that punches the teeth out of the listener. When it comes to rock music, I'm so glad we have Foo Fighters to represent us and kick ass where ass needs kicked. We need another band or two like them so that people will stop bitching that they got to play twice, and we don't get another "R&B"er that just lip syncs through a song.
-Other Grammy Notes-
Oh yeah, and I learned last night never to follow stuff like this on twitter. I learned pretty quickly that not everyone is a fan, even though they have no reason to hate on something different (the same could be said about the people I've poked fun at here, but a good few of them can come back when they have all their music being played right there on stage, and even more of them can come back when they've got something new to sing about). Hell, I even learned apparently Foo Fighters are AIDS deniers of some sort and that this makes people stop liking their music that is in no way about denying AIDS (this is a topic I've wanted to write about for a while, so yeah, coming soon...(that hating idea, not AIDS)). So yeah, never again with the public opinion as it happens.
The Grammys as whole were interesting, since I largely haven't been paying attention to popular music in the past year. Honestly, I didn't really hate any songs that I heard (disliked one or two, but not like "blam this piece of talentless shit"), and liked a few more (Bruno Mars, I thought, was pretty charming actually, and that song had a great riff), so it was ultimately fun getting caught up. Of course, I thought it needed more rock...and I hope to God Green Day has a new album for us by next year to fill the gap that the Foo Fighters are gonna leave.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Week 3 Beat
Alright, well this is the last week me for me to slack off really before I have to really start doing work, or at least, focus on it. Honestly, I think I'm ready to get back to work creatively rather than academically, which is kind of a good thing, since that's ultimately my goal. I want to cut out the hours used to travel down winding, time-consuming paths on Youtube that I never fail to get hooked on when I get home. Granted, even when I'm in the mindset to do something, i can never figure out what exactly I'm in the mood for, which is perhaps the most frustrating thing to occur. Of course, I've already explained this phenomena before, since it's not a new thing. I've already got at least two big blog post ideas that I hope I'm still into doing later this week.
That being said, this is hopefully going to be the last of the "lifestyle" posts for a good while, with a return to topical posts coming very very soon. My goal this week is to start up the creative machine, so that next week, I can pair it with the academics. Can't say whether or not I'll be successful, and I mean that. What I want and what I have the capacity to do are two different things. That sounds like a bunch of bullshit, like an excuse, but in the right context, I think it would mean something. And whether or not it's an excuse, it's a true statement.
Ah well, I dunno what I'm really trying to say here, or what the point of this blog post is, but as it's happening and it exists, I'm sure there is one.
That being said, this is hopefully going to be the last of the "lifestyle" posts for a good while, with a return to topical posts coming very very soon. My goal this week is to start up the creative machine, so that next week, I can pair it with the academics. Can't say whether or not I'll be successful, and I mean that. What I want and what I have the capacity to do are two different things. That sounds like a bunch of bullshit, like an excuse, but in the right context, I think it would mean something. And whether or not it's an excuse, it's a true statement.
Ah well, I dunno what I'm really trying to say here, or what the point of this blog post is, but as it's happening and it exists, I'm sure there is one.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Say Something
My lack of productivity in the past week or so has been eating away at my brain, and thus here I am putting down SOMETHING, whether it's good or not. I've been tossing around topics for a blog post all evening, and nothing has really struck my fancy, so I don't know where this is going to go, which is fine since my rambly type blogs tend to end up fairly interesting. Normally I allow myself about three weeks from the beginning of the semester for being a total slacker and not getting anything done, academically or creatively. That means this is kind of a bonus. That being said, let's take a moment to look at a few of the topics that weren't.
Tonight I had a run in with an empty ink cartridge. Luckily the thing I need to print didn't absolutely have to get turned in tomorrow. A clock is ticking, sure, but it wasn't one of those cases where you start narrating your life in your head because you're the last person you actually want to be. It's funny though, since this is largely a commuter-based situation. People who live on campus can just run to the library and be done a few minutes and a few cents later. I suppose I could do that too, since I don't have anything better to do in my nearly two hour long break between classes tomorrow. There's an idea...
I was also thinking about theme songs, but I realized, much like I always do, that if I wrote that post now, it'd be a disjointed mess. It's true, sometimes my ideas have to sit and stew in order to reach the form they're in when they're posted...which is funny, since it never really takes that long and the posts I put up are still fairly messy and generally unkempt. I'd still love to talk about all my different little theme songs...if only I could remember them all. What got me thinking about it was hearing Eusine's Theme after having Ho-Oh's battle theme from Pokemon HeartGold/SoulSilver playing all the time. Back when I was only imagining what it might be like to go to MagFest and make my grand entrance, I started thinking about video game songs that would suit me, and Buena's Password and Eusine's Theme came to mind. Nowadays I kind of prefer Eusine's Theme over Buena's Password, since it's a little more dramatic...but I should really be saving all the backstory for an entry.
I've been playing a lot of Ocarina of Time 3D lately too, and I've been thinking about writing a review for it, so that might come in the future. It's been fun just sort of screwing around with the 3D effects and analyzing what the purpose of 3D is. In that way, getting Ocarina of Time was a brilliant move, since it was a game I'd played before and had time to basically memorize. When you know the original idea, I reckon it's easier to discern the goals of implementing it in 3D...kind of an interesting thought process really.
Communication has been a big thing lately too, and how it either works or doesn't. I only didn't want to do a post about that because it more than likely would have been a little...downtrodden or bitter, and after the last few entries, I didn't want to do another one like that, especially since I'm in a decent mood, albeit a typically paranoid one. Alas, school is in and there are assignments to forget. I guess things should start being do soon, and then I'll actually have to start doing work. I shouldn't complain really, since I doubt it will end up being too overwhelming. I don't know if I've mentioned this or not, but homework's not usually the part of college that worries me to death.
I don't really have all that much to say other than that. My mind's still a bit of a mess due to school starting and all of that jazz, and like I said, I usually give myself a little bit of time before really expecting anything of myself. It's interesting to note that this blog was actually active when I went back to school for last semester, so while I may not have been as vocal about my creeds and ideologies, all the same ones were there, just unspoken. Hopefully the mood hits me right sooner rather than later.
Tonight I had a run in with an empty ink cartridge. Luckily the thing I need to print didn't absolutely have to get turned in tomorrow. A clock is ticking, sure, but it wasn't one of those cases where you start narrating your life in your head because you're the last person you actually want to be. It's funny though, since this is largely a commuter-based situation. People who live on campus can just run to the library and be done a few minutes and a few cents later. I suppose I could do that too, since I don't have anything better to do in my nearly two hour long break between classes tomorrow. There's an idea...
I was also thinking about theme songs, but I realized, much like I always do, that if I wrote that post now, it'd be a disjointed mess. It's true, sometimes my ideas have to sit and stew in order to reach the form they're in when they're posted...which is funny, since it never really takes that long and the posts I put up are still fairly messy and generally unkempt. I'd still love to talk about all my different little theme songs...if only I could remember them all. What got me thinking about it was hearing Eusine's Theme after having Ho-Oh's battle theme from Pokemon HeartGold/SoulSilver playing all the time. Back when I was only imagining what it might be like to go to MagFest and make my grand entrance, I started thinking about video game songs that would suit me, and Buena's Password and Eusine's Theme came to mind. Nowadays I kind of prefer Eusine's Theme over Buena's Password, since it's a little more dramatic...but I should really be saving all the backstory for an entry.
I've been playing a lot of Ocarina of Time 3D lately too, and I've been thinking about writing a review for it, so that might come in the future. It's been fun just sort of screwing around with the 3D effects and analyzing what the purpose of 3D is. In that way, getting Ocarina of Time was a brilliant move, since it was a game I'd played before and had time to basically memorize. When you know the original idea, I reckon it's easier to discern the goals of implementing it in 3D...kind of an interesting thought process really.
Communication has been a big thing lately too, and how it either works or doesn't. I only didn't want to do a post about that because it more than likely would have been a little...downtrodden or bitter, and after the last few entries, I didn't want to do another one like that, especially since I'm in a decent mood, albeit a typically paranoid one. Alas, school is in and there are assignments to forget. I guess things should start being do soon, and then I'll actually have to start doing work. I shouldn't complain really, since I doubt it will end up being too overwhelming. I don't know if I've mentioned this or not, but homework's not usually the part of college that worries me to death.
I don't really have all that much to say other than that. My mind's still a bit of a mess due to school starting and all of that jazz, and like I said, I usually give myself a little bit of time before really expecting anything of myself. It's interesting to note that this blog was actually active when I went back to school for last semester, so while I may not have been as vocal about my creeds and ideologies, all the same ones were there, just unspoken. Hopefully the mood hits me right sooner rather than later.
Monday, February 6, 2012
The Darkening World
I always hate doing things like this, and I've been resisting for a while now. I never want to just go off on some rant about how awful everything is and how hopeless the future is, but sometimes it grips my mind and refuses to release it. It was a chance occurence that "Dearly Beloved" from Kingdom Hearts happened to appear in my recommended videos on YouTube. That chance occurence has but me in a much better position to look at the world, and more importantly, talk about it.
I want to refuse to watch the news sometimes. I can't really do that since I still live with my parents and they watch it at the dinner table, but I really do just want to tune it out completely sometimes. Murder, arson, murder, deadly car crash, breathing gives me cancer, murder, riots, protests, gas prices are going up, murder, politicians are flinging shit at each other, and murder. That's generally the order of events. Oh yeah, and traffic jams get thrown in there too. And today I had the bonus of my father (who's currently laid off this week, even) describe an elaborate Muslim plot to take over the world by rooting themselves into our neighborhoods and using our democratic systems against us.
Also to consider is the upcoming apocalypse, global warming, oil depletion, imminent terrorist attacks, hackers tearing apart the internet, the government imploding, the absence of any jobs, and a crumbling infrastructure...well, amongst even MORE things. That list brings up a question I asked myself at this exact time last week: "Why in the hell would I want to raise kids in a world like this?" All of these things seem like they're going to happen tomorrow, and when they don't it could just be the next day. It's overwhelming. You can't put it out of your mind either, since these are huge, "important" problems that will inevitably affect the way you live your life. You must take your time to mull over each one and make a stand for them. All the while going about your business.
If the usual lengths of my blog posts don't make it clear, I tend to think about things a lot. These issues are no different. Tie these large scale issues in with my personal ones and you've got a nice conga line of depression on your hands. I struggle to find something to hold onto then, some ray of hope that lets me know it's going to be okay. I think it gets harder to find that thing each time. I'm a staunch advocate in seeing the beauty in things, even bad things, but sometimes I just can't. I pride myself on being raised and growing up in a generation full of unique experiences, and yet, it feels like I may not have anyone to share those experiences with. I can't help but wonder if every generation has felt this way.
It's not like world-ending conflicts have never been in the center of history. Surely, World War II threatened people with the prospect of life being changed forever, and the feeling must have been taken up to eleven with the advent of killing machines like the atomic bomb. All of a sudden, completely destroying a country or altering the very face of the world altogether was a possibility. The generation that came before mine grew up in constant fear of a loss of control of that power under the shadow of the Cold War. They must have felt the same things that I'm feeling, right? In a world where we now have so much more than we did thirty or forty years ago, we must be better off, right?
Impossible is the task of deciphering which things are actually relevant, or which things are even true. It would seem that we have more problems today than we used to, however, I cannot truly attest to this due to my not living in the past. I can't comparatively say that things have gotten worse. Even if I had lived back then, age would bias everything I do. Only one with eternal youth could make an accurate comparison of the pressure that is put onto every individual's shoulders today. I can safely say, more or less, that life today is more complex than it used to be, and this factors in greatly, although complexity, like in literature, does not always come with negative connotations.
Of course, this still leaves the issue of coping with living in the shadow of so many things that could swallow you at any moment. The world is getting darker, and the news is never good. Nothing seems to be certain, and it's almost sad that that's comforting. As a writer, thinker, and human, I always want to find a reason to keep exploring. If the world, or at least a way of life that I love, is going to end, there seems to be little point. Life is not beautiful in the way we want it to be. Life's beauty is bittersweet. The pockets of good seem to pale in comparison to the vast expanses of darkness that loom overhead. For how long can the light give us hope?
Or better yet...what does it truly take to make a light of our own?
I want to refuse to watch the news sometimes. I can't really do that since I still live with my parents and they watch it at the dinner table, but I really do just want to tune it out completely sometimes. Murder, arson, murder, deadly car crash, breathing gives me cancer, murder, riots, protests, gas prices are going up, murder, politicians are flinging shit at each other, and murder. That's generally the order of events. Oh yeah, and traffic jams get thrown in there too. And today I had the bonus of my father (who's currently laid off this week, even) describe an elaborate Muslim plot to take over the world by rooting themselves into our neighborhoods and using our democratic systems against us.
Also to consider is the upcoming apocalypse, global warming, oil depletion, imminent terrorist attacks, hackers tearing apart the internet, the government imploding, the absence of any jobs, and a crumbling infrastructure...well, amongst even MORE things. That list brings up a question I asked myself at this exact time last week: "Why in the hell would I want to raise kids in a world like this?" All of these things seem like they're going to happen tomorrow, and when they don't it could just be the next day. It's overwhelming. You can't put it out of your mind either, since these are huge, "important" problems that will inevitably affect the way you live your life. You must take your time to mull over each one and make a stand for them. All the while going about your business.
If the usual lengths of my blog posts don't make it clear, I tend to think about things a lot. These issues are no different. Tie these large scale issues in with my personal ones and you've got a nice conga line of depression on your hands. I struggle to find something to hold onto then, some ray of hope that lets me know it's going to be okay. I think it gets harder to find that thing each time. I'm a staunch advocate in seeing the beauty in things, even bad things, but sometimes I just can't. I pride myself on being raised and growing up in a generation full of unique experiences, and yet, it feels like I may not have anyone to share those experiences with. I can't help but wonder if every generation has felt this way.
It's not like world-ending conflicts have never been in the center of history. Surely, World War II threatened people with the prospect of life being changed forever, and the feeling must have been taken up to eleven with the advent of killing machines like the atomic bomb. All of a sudden, completely destroying a country or altering the very face of the world altogether was a possibility. The generation that came before mine grew up in constant fear of a loss of control of that power under the shadow of the Cold War. They must have felt the same things that I'm feeling, right? In a world where we now have so much more than we did thirty or forty years ago, we must be better off, right?
Impossible is the task of deciphering which things are actually relevant, or which things are even true. It would seem that we have more problems today than we used to, however, I cannot truly attest to this due to my not living in the past. I can't comparatively say that things have gotten worse. Even if I had lived back then, age would bias everything I do. Only one with eternal youth could make an accurate comparison of the pressure that is put onto every individual's shoulders today. I can safely say, more or less, that life today is more complex than it used to be, and this factors in greatly, although complexity, like in literature, does not always come with negative connotations.
Of course, this still leaves the issue of coping with living in the shadow of so many things that could swallow you at any moment. The world is getting darker, and the news is never good. Nothing seems to be certain, and it's almost sad that that's comforting. As a writer, thinker, and human, I always want to find a reason to keep exploring. If the world, or at least a way of life that I love, is going to end, there seems to be little point. Life is not beautiful in the way we want it to be. Life's beauty is bittersweet. The pockets of good seem to pale in comparison to the vast expanses of darkness that loom overhead. For how long can the light give us hope?
Or better yet...what does it truly take to make a light of our own?
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